I wish men could shed like serpents
or
i could tack my skin to this me, that swims inside.
i feel like i am floating away encased in an organic human starfish
sadly- like a poorly made sausage with cancerous flesh tied with some sort of divine intestinal pig casing-
and yet I am forever hopeful of the air around me--once I get out...possibly next week--I can enjoy the descending leaves and falling sadness
or
i could tack my skin to this me, that swims inside.
i feel like i am floating away encased in an organic human starfish
sadly- like a poorly made sausage with cancerous flesh tied with some sort of divine intestinal pig casing-
and yet I am forever hopeful of the air around me--once I get out...possibly next week--I can enjoy the descending leaves and falling sadness
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
Is it totally ridiculous and trite? Maybe... but see my post inprodigalsaint's journal for a better understanding of why I'm crazy about this guy...
how are things in your world?
As for your problem. Shit. I have never been in an even slightly similar situation so I certainly can't speak with empathy or from experience. Also, I don't know either one of you or the nature of your relationship so it's quite difficult to make any assumptions. The only advice I can give you is this: Enjoy the ride. That's what I'm learning right now. Is that possible? Can you just truly enjoy the time that you spend with her w/o any expectations or demands? Literally, just enjoying her company? Because it sounds like you see this ending at some point in the not too distant future... and that there is only so much of yourself that you can give her considering your current emotional situation... and you don't want to quit your job. Which leaves you at a bit of an impasse. So that is the only advice I really know. ENJOY her and live fully in the moment, just appreciating what the experience has to offer. Expectations, in my humble opinion, are the downfall of most relationships. Try not to plan or assume. Just experience. And when something specific comes up, try to deal with it with the same perspective... "hey, I'm enjoying this experience but (fill in the blank) so here are my options."
Good luck and feel free to IM me or e-mail me if you want to give me more specifics to work with.