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Ok so i had to get this out so i wrote this blog


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Some times i dont under stand how such a good day an turn in to such an awful night. E. and i spent the day together. Really together... then the night watching movies. We went to the bedroom at midnight and soon were makeing love. Which is weird...
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gayballs:
I'll remember, dork.
avidity:
i won't forget!
and i'd defintely have pictures in my box, and my kitties.
mmmmmuah
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Our water pipe broke last night... But was fixed my noon.
I signed up for classes this am.
I just moped the floor
Yup thats my llife....
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badangela:
broken pipes sound messy. Life sometimes just is. smile
catagogo:
broken water pipes succcckkkkkks.
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Not much to report....
E got meds for his poisioned arm.... So now he's on Predison. I'm hopeing it doesn't effect his mood to much.
I'm questioning takeing the clesses. They're just sooo expencive sence i'm still out of state. and it feels wrong spending $650 on classes that i really don't need.
I'm Playing WoW again.... Mixed feelings about that.

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toez:
Maybe getting it out...like actually crying would help?
galaxy42:
Hmmm... let the cry fly. You'll feel better when it's over.

As for the WoW thing... you need rehab. biggrin
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We went down to Santa Rosa last night. Had crappy applebees and saw children of Men.
HOLY SHIT if you haven't seen the movie. GO. If your waiting to see it on DVD cause your a cheap bastard. GO to the theater. Ok so it didn't have the twist and turns I was expecting but it was still one of the best movies i've seen...
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toez:
When I don't have a job, it bugs me even when people are nicely asking if I've found one yet, or where I'm looking. It's actually part of my O.C.D. I know this because a doctor told me...but once he did, it all kinda fell into place. It seems that my crazy, mixed up brain thinks that by people asking, it means that they either doubt my ability to find a job, OR, now admittedly this is a doosy so no laughing, my brain believes that they think I'm lying about it, or not even trying. When I'm not in the situation, I can look back and realize out silly it is, but catch me in the situation, and ask about my job hunt, and you'll probably get a hurt look, followed by a subject change and maybe even a period of silence from me.

And how can you not like Applebees??? I LOVE Applebees!!!
omeganightmare:
that would be Poison oak up here...and it's the devil frown

I liked children of men alot and it was worth the 9 dollars to see it in portland lol
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Thank you to everyone who was so consserned after my last post...

I think i need to clairify some things. I know E. wants me to be happy but i don't know what it will take to get me there. I am trying to make changes thats why i'm going to be takeing classes and thats why i am desperatly searching for a job. Its...
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tds:
Take care of yourself. It's been hard for me to comment because i know what you mean, & it involves that great "personal inventory" shit that people end up dealing with but avoid until they have no choice. Anyway, best i can say is just take care of yourself as best you can. If i can help at all with anything, let me know smile
toez:
I completely understand, good luck!!
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E asked me if i was happy tonight...
Let me back up
We ran in to lobster_ Monbster at walmarts this evening. It was nice running in to some one anywhere cause it means you know people... Anyhow she asked if i was going to girls night and i told her it wasn't really my thing. This led to a conversation about girls and looks...
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toez:
*couldn't agree more with the "do what makes you happy" statement* Relationships are give and take...win some lose some. I don't know you very well, and I don't know E. at all, but it sounds like some compromise would do a lot of good. Are you saying that you don't have more tattoos, stretched earlobes and more piercings because he wont let you?
gayballs:
Hey, at least you got it all out. that sounds like a difficult-ass conversation to be having.
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I hate being sick. And i am very sick. I finally broke my fever last night some time but i think its comeing back... I just ate and its makeing me a little shakey. really shakey. and i have some sort of rash started on my arm and neck. I think i caught something on the plain... or at least i'll blame it on the...
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galaxy42:
Rest up and go to the doctor about the rash...
Get well soon.
catagogo:
Im sick too. frown it sucks. frown frown
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gayballs:
thaaaaaaaaaaaaaaank YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU



omeganightmare:
icky caca frown I hope yah feel better
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Ummm so i'm back in Calif. The plain was ok got to see the episode of miami CSI with the suicide girls. It was very hot and i think the guy sitting next to me got a charge out of my drooling.

I'm back in reality again. The dog didn't have one accedent while i was gone but managed to pee three times inside again....
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toez:
Welcome back to the other side of the country my dear! Bills always make me cry...I feel ya.
gayballs:
enjoy the happy parts. the sad parts come later.
and i haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaated the SG CSI
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i'm sitting in the airport... waiting to go home and contimplating the meaning of the term home... is it where the heart is where your stuff is or your family. Right now i think i'm homeless. I'm starting to have friends in Sac and E. is there and my stuff. But it doesn't feel like my life is there. Catagogo said something about comeing back...
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toez:
I hear you...we've moved around so much since we moved in together that I sometimes forget what city I'm in haha. But to me, Jeff is home. Where he is, that's home to me...well, him and the kitties miao!!

In Nevada I'm trying to find chapels in Carson City. Jeff's grandparents can't travel very much, so we're doing the wedding close to them. Jeff has a certain one in mind, and I've tried and tried to find it online, but I can't, so I don't know how to plan for it until I see it and know more. I did find ONE in that city online, but it limits the guest list to 25...and that's gonna hurt a LOT of feelings.

Not many people have heard these words from me since Jeff and I got engaged and started planning the small wedding...but I would give almost anything for a big wedding. I know that the small one is going to be wonderful, and I don't exactly regret it, I just wish we could do more.
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I started writting this while waiting for a friend to pick me up. its not even close to done but i thought i should post it before i loose all momentum on it. Its not good writting its just truthful.

SPOILERS! (Click to view)
When I was young my mother was the cool mom. I have to say I loved it. She let me have...
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lobster_mobster:
Good rant smile

And... On Toez's blog I noticed that you said that you thought you had no friends in Calif...

NAWT!! I will totally help you plan your wedding, silly!! Im your Calif friend!! Me, me!!
avidity:
well i'm gonna have to read that when it's not 3am!
thank you sweetie! i'm trying to keep it together
mmmmmmuah kiss
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For those of you that care i am still alive. I'm at my moms till tomarrow suffering through dial up.

Really being home has been ... heartbreaking in some sureal way.

I'll write a long blog later about the people i've been with. it will be much more ineresting then sayinig what i've been doing.


I hope the New Year is finding everyone very well....
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blue_richard:
I miss you and I want you back!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! kiss
aviendha:
I have been gone for a bit too but I misses you lady!!