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alyssum

Eugene

Member Since 2002

Followers 66 Following 71

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Monday Jan 16, 2006

Jan 16, 2006
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****Warning: Brain-dump ahead!****

Okay, getting outside in the "sun" was a big help. Done wonders for my mental state already. Plus, getting things accomplished, making progress on the packing...I should have everything but the bedroom and a few kitchen implements that I'll need to use between now and Moving Day all ready to go by the time C's moved out. Since I've got no furniture to speak of, aside from a couple of chairs and lamps, it should be a cinch.

I think I've come to the conclusion that with this new place I should A) still keep a lot of stuff in boxes, but B) personalize it as much as I can, and C) still pare things down some more. That way it'll be easy to move again when I get the opportunity, but I can make it not feel like I'm living in a dark and dreary hotel room for 6 months.

Last night was sort of a watershed moment. I kept trying to think positively about the apartment without figuring out what about the situation bothered me so much. I still feel like I'm coming out from under a lot of the baggage of having gone from an established household to being a single person again. It's been hard giving that up, and having to make single-income choices. I'm realizing how much of this shit I've been schlepping around town I don't actually need though, and how much it's just weighing me down. It really negatively affected my apartment decisions - having to plan for a professional-sized kitchen on a small-apartment budget is retarded. I don't need a fucking nutmeg grater and turkey lifters and mexican hot-chocolate stirring sticks and all that miscellaneous shit Mr. Ex had. Hell, I don't even need a lot of the pots and pans, glasses, silverware, etc. Give that to boys who only have bacheloresque ecoutrements, who can actually use them.

The apartment is my Day in the Barrel - with a little time and space to decide how I want to live my own life, I can gloriously return to life in the city on my own terms. Do it how I really want to do it; streamlined and sorted.
VIEW 9 of 9 COMMENTS
katastrofei:
Wait.

Waitwaitwait.

Your Day In The Barrel? That's a secret known only among my Nerds. How did YOU find out about The Barrel.

Spill, missy!

No, I don't know you. I don't think. But still. HOW DID YOU FIND OUT ABOUT THE BARREL?
Jan 16, 2006
yumchen:
God you are my hero.

It's weird. I have been thinking more and more about how nice it would be to live on my own without S.O's or roomates.

I have so much shit going around in my head and it's hard being around people 24/7 that don't help.

I had a huge discussion with Jon about love, marriage, living together and stuff. It was interesting to find out that we really have different ideas of what is going on right now and what we expect in the future.

Anyway. It sucks because I can't call my girlfriends to vent about it because I am hardly ever alone in the house and I don't want to hurt his feelings.

I keep getting really upset every time I realize that I can't have a mermaid themed bathroom where I am at right now. I have to compromise. Bla. I am 23, not married, no kids, love fantasy and mermaids and I can not have a mermaid/pirate bathroom. It makes me sad.

Again, you are my hero. Let me know where I can send you your personalized alyssum candle. kiss
Jan 18, 2006

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