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ajp_archer

Marshfield, WI

Member Since 2014

Followers 33 Following 128

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New Blog

Apr 3, 2015
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So I am going to try and blog every day with my experiences as a stay at home dad, today is my wife's first day back to work since she had our daughter, so my blog will start today.

Day1:

OK so far so good, Lia didn't argue with me over nuggets, fries, milk, and gold fish for lunch. As anyone with a child knows food they will eat is like a fucking unicorn, it's doesn't exist. While she is eating I decided I would catch up on email and such....bad idea now she tells me 'Daddy I'm all clean' I look over and she has dumped her milk over her head.....fuck.

OK so quick toss into the shower and down for a nap. This all goes relatively easy, yay Daddy gets a couple hours to himself. Then the screaming starts. I wasn't out of the room 2 minutes when she threw her bear out of bed, well shit no bear no nap. Go into the bedroom, get the bear, sing another nap time song, back to bed.

2 Hours later the nap is over, now we gotta have a snack and play cows (what she calls minecraft). OK food and video games, this I can do, god bless kids not realizing the controller isn't plugged in and being content with pushing buttons for an hour.

Ok so that idea only lasted 10 minutes, followed by a few hours of watching her do the most random things, like put a stuffed animal in a laundry basket as it's crib, and then curl up in the basket with it and play nap. Also I have learned that a pringles can is a microphone for a 3 year old.

Dinner is Pizza rolls.....for like the 4th day in a row but hell at least she is eating, I have no idea why pizza rolls dunked in strawberry apple sauce is good but apparently it is so see you do learn something new everyday. Half way through dinner my darling precious little girl rips ass worse then I ever could, laughs and says 'Daddy it's like my butt' and laughs hard.

What to have for dessert, marshmallows are right out of the question, we tried that one yesterday and had to spent 20 minutes and a hot bath to get it out of her hair....Ice cream will require another bath. Hmm. Neighbors to the rescue, our downstairs neighbor just brought up a Easter basket for her, awesome, skittles for the win! Brief aside, how comes she gets dinner and I get 1 1/2 pizza rolls she didn't want and a few chips?

How in god's name did my wife ever find time to get things around the house done while still keeping this little psycho alive? Seriously as much as she climbs and jumps on or off things how am I supposed to clean a single dish let alone a room?

Well 7PM rolled around and bedtime was a fight, first we read a story, then she had to go potty which I swear was a 20 minute affair in and of itself. Finally get her down for the night and can relax.

griffxx:
Pizza rolls and strawberry apple sauce? .... Awesome. Also, I love reading this type stuff. Keep up the good work. :)
Apr 4, 2015
soraleia:
Oh man, this is going to be fun to read. Kids are the weirdest creatures. It's like studying a new species
Apr 4, 2015

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