I've been lying, to my friends,family, myself and everyone here. I've went on at length in multiple blog post about how at least right now my depression is under control and that's been a lie. For the past 6 month I have considered either just walking away or more often putting a gun in my mouth. I haven't told anyone that it has gotten this bad, but it has. Even minor things are making these thoughts pop into my head. Every day I put on a happy face because that's what work requires, and my wife who has been dealing with postpartum depression needs from me. I'm the husband I have to be the strong one, I can't be the weak one who needs help so I suck it up smile and go on, all the while wondering if this is the day I break and do it.
griffxx:
PM me if you want to unload on someone. I have a clue about what you are talking about.