Most of this will mean nothing to any of you but I want to write and it’s my blog so deal with it.
Back in I’d say 2004 I was in and out of the deepest stages of my depression and one of the few ‘cures’ I had was online roleplaying, mainly on a site called RPOL. It was there that I met QueenmandiKat & Willowschild both of whom Rp’d BTVS like I did (we met in a BTVS game I ran).
We began to talk on AIM and I learned their names were Amanda & Christa. Some of you may see where this is going….. After a few months Christa and me began a online relationship and I do believe that for a time I may have loved her, but I was in a dark place and did a lot of things to push her away. I hung out with girls offline and then told her about it, sorry basically bragged about it. I was just a worthless shit most the time, an inevitably she broke it off without us having ever met in person.
While I was dating Christa I still talked to Amanda as they were roommates. After Christa broke it off with me I still talked to Manda, for a while (maybe 18 months) it was fairly infrequently. As my depression subsided and I began to exert more control over my life we began to talk more (both online and on the phone) by mid-2006 we were talking multiple times a day, for a minimum 2 hours a day.
Right around this time I developed a major addiction to cocaine due to running with a crowed that had far more money than me and worked all day and partied all night, they did coke so I did coke to keep up as I was basically their driver / assistant / whatever. Manda hated this time of my life and in retrospect so do I. During that time frame I was running with a family (literally) that was making money hand over fist due to their pair of resorts, and because we talked so much she knew what I was getting into and the crowds I was around ext, it was amazing to me at the time, I had access to the best drugs, the best clubs, the best of everything.
Fast forward to August 2007 I got stopped driving home from work and bust for 1/8 of an ounce of weed and my bowl. Thank god they didn’t find the ¼ of coke in my golf bag. I then sat and reevaluated my life, I stopped working with the family (I still work for them just not in anywhere near the same way, now I am just an employee). I locked myself in my dad’s house while he was out of town and kicked the cocaine, and I stopped smoking pot.
I knew after getting arrested (not that I ever got charged, they dropped it due to a friendly cop vouching for me) I needed a change in my life so I arranged to fly to Florida to finally meet Manda in person. We finally met in early September, and after spending 8 days together my mind was made up. I put in a one month’s notice at the resort and moved down.
Financially the next 4 years would suck for us. In Orlando I could not find a job, and once we moved back to my home in Ohio I had such a gap in my work history that I was unable to find work until August of 2009. That job fell apart a couple months after I stared since they never properly trained me. I would not find steady work until I conquered my demons and returned to the resort in May of 2011.
When I returned to the resort we had been married for a month, yes even without having worked for 4 years really she still married me. We found out on June 17th 2011 that Manda was pregnant.
It has been a tough time since then, but we have persevered because early on during the hardest times back in Orlando we swore we would never go to bed angry with each other and we never have, not a single time.
We have been together in person for 7 years or so, and I realize more and more every day how much I love her, and I tell her 100 times a day.
As of 7 hours ago give or take 20 minutes we have been married 3 years, it sucks I had to work today on our anniversary, but we have the rest of our lives together so we can live with.
AJ.
