violet

I have to also wholeheartedly disagree with Dada on this one. Perhaps I'm not reading him correctly, but it sounds like he's suggesting that there is never need for self-improvement or personal change. Now, if everyone took this stance, then would no one feel the need to change? OF COURSE THEY WOULD! People's need to better themselves does not solely stem form their insecurities about what others think of them. For instance, for a while I decided I would brush my teeth twice a day, not because anyone thought I had bad breath, but simply because I felt a desire to do something different. People change and that's what growth is all about. If everyone looked DOWN on everyone else because they thought they were being repressed, then no one would get anywhere emotionaly or physically. Bettering yourself, and the constant desire to do so, is an incredibly powerful personal tool. It's not a "crock of shit."

No matter how much you try to fight it, the one person that will be in you life longer than anyone else in this world is YOU. So if YOU have no need to better yourself, then YOU will be very bored and miserable later in life. In many ways you are your own best friend. And you're betraying that friendship when you pretend liek it doesn't need to be worked on.

Self-help books are usually a phase. But self-help isn't. Violet has specific parts of her life that have gone from being fun little pasttimes to emotionally wrenching patterns and she doesn't want to thrust herself into the same scenario all over again without at least examing her participation in it. Your body and your mind are more intrinsically involved than you might care to think. The hardest battles you will ever go through are always those between heart and mind. The more these two can live in harmony, the better off you'll be.

I genuinely think a big part of finding your own individuality and TRULY being in control of your own happiness and independence lies not necessarily being alone, but at least being involved with someone that actively promotes that independece in you. It's a two-way relationship. Even if you're fighting to maintain your own self-reliance, if you're with someone that condones or promotes falling back into those emotional ruts, then you're back where you started and you feel like you failed yourself. No good. Meaningful relationships require a great deal of responsibility for each other's feelings. If you feel a certain way about someone, don't be afraid to tell them and don't be afraid to tell yourself. If it's there, it's there. If someone knows how much they mean to you, they're more liekly to re-evaluate exactly how they feel about you and will at least be more aware of exactly what their actions might suggest.

OK, I rambled way, way too long. I'm really not an expert on these kinds of things, I'm only speaking from personal experience. Hope you got something from it besides a headache and eye strain.

Good night,
LM

Amen!

yah

God Violet, I am so sorry I wish this didnt happen to you. I agree with xMACHINAx and I have never understood ether. I have been in open relationships and have had fuck buddies, its always ends the same with one person looking for something more and the other looking for just more. I enjoy sex dont get me wrong, I even enjoyed having a sex buddy what I did not like was how we never got truly intimate with each other. I think the big difference is the emotional connection. The act of sex doesnt do anything for me emotionally its simply physical but at the same time I consider my partners emotions. Some boys do not, that is one thing that separates men from the boys. I am much happier with a relationship now than that of a fuck buddy. Its not as easy and lord knows my eye wonders but my hart does not.

This bugs me. A lot. I've had a few fuck buddy relationships (maybe 6 over the 14 years I've been physically active), and all of them ended up great. Never a problem, never jealous, none.

Why?

Because we FOLLOWED THE RULES. A fuck buddy is not someone you go to sleep with, its someone who comes over, exchanges sex with you, and leaves. That's the fuck part. When the buddy part comes over, you can hang out, watch movies, get beers, talk. No sex, no kissing, no touching.

I have a few gal pals who hate the fuck buddy idea, but its because they don't get it. THIS IS NOT A BOYFRIEND. This is not love. This is sex.

Women want sex as much or more than men. I know more women who are rank ho's than guys. I know more women players. They say they want nice guys, etc, but when they're naked and sweating, the guy next to them is usually an overconfident machismo asshole. The nice guy is at home crying over why the girls are treating them that way.

Of course he's going to fuck her brains out. He's a player. Get it straight. You want a good fuck buddy? Follow the rules. You want a boyfriend who won't hurt you? Date a NICE GUY. Sure, you may not get wet at the thought of him (he doesn't drive a motorcycle, and he won't have a quickie in an elevator), but he won't break your heart either.

The rules are the rules. You wanted a boyfriend, or a serious relationship. Your emotional struggle is proof positive that this guy was NOT for you. But he was not an asshole either. Although if he was 100% true, he should have left after any sexual play.

The rules are the rules.

Unless you forget to clean it, but thats the wrong kind of disease. O_o that was gross, lol. as long as you wash it, you can penetrate me.

Back in college, I asked my friend Nancy why she dated all these assholes. She said, "Because the sex is good, and if things don't work out, well, they were assholes." I told her that if she wants to get the Big Love, if she wants to get it all, then she will have to risk it all.

Sorry you're dealing with the surface boys. Hope you can find someone who can appreciate the Big Picture and not just want another notch on their proverbial gun.

Oh, and if you haven't, I highly suggest getting drunk and watching "Liquid Sky".

Violet looks sexy in those glasses. Rowr.

I bet she looks fantastic in glasses.

Okay okay, I changed my pic so its not 'smudged in 6 different directions'. It wasnt my face anyway =)

I warned ya bout having anal sex with monkeys, but ya wouldnt listen...noooooooooo.

I'm sure you'll be fine, just do anyhting to distract yourself until you get the results, then sigh with relief, go out and get drunk to celebrate and have sex with a stranger!

Doh! I did it again!

I have a few friends that are living with HIV...
and you know what, if you get past the depression
part it just makes you live your life to the fullest...
I think they accomplish more than many other
people in their entire life.... but... that's if you do...
i have been tested before and also freaked out
like a crazy mother... you'll be fine... it's just the
waiting part that makes you think you've got it....

Just humped off? Interesting, so how are things then? ok I'm presuming. It's fun to hump off calories...whee

right back atcha cutes

hey there aint nuthin wrong with beinga slacker during the summer, thats what its for!! if i only one could make money being a slacker during the summer!

(Dont ask)

i am totally digging your smirk. and my ex says i have the cutest butt ever.