my birthday is on monday!!! i want birthday e cards to cheer me up so that i don't cry about being 43, u mmm i mean 23.
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i guess i feel a little better today, but for the last three days, the littlest things have set me off into a whirlwind of crazy behavior. Endless tears, balling for hours, anger, sadness, and the worst physical pain. I just feel sick, drained, depressed, and the worst things is, I don't know what the reason is, cause it changes every day.
My actions are...
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My actions are...
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nonservium:
Woah- just browsing through when the sympathy pang stopped me dead in my tracks. You are describing severe depression. Birth control could be a major factor. Either way you might want to talk to someone about it.
I can tell you that it is not the ecstacy use you have to worry about- if that is any consolation. Seratonin receptors are back to their original levels within 2-4 weeks of use. [http://www.dancesafe.org] And it is not school- stress isn't healthy but it certainly is manageable.
I'm soo sorry you are feeling this way and I would offer you all the *hugs* in the world if it would help. Depression sucks...
I can tell you that it is not the ecstacy use you have to worry about- if that is any consolation. Seratonin receptors are back to their original levels within 2-4 weeks of use. [http://www.dancesafe.org] And it is not school- stress isn't healthy but it certainly is manageable.
I'm soo sorry you are feeling this way and I would offer you all the *hugs* in the world if it would help. Depression sucks...
jeff:
you were awesome in the sg annv. video. do you do the betty boop routine elsewhere? you should be dancing at sinferno 2nd sundays at dante's. what other role playing routines do you do? anyways, the 2nd sg annv. party shouldn't be too far off. can't wait.
i am so depressed right now, I don't want to see anyone, I don't want to talk to anyone. All i can do is sit here and mope. I just sleep all the time. And I can't figure out what's wrong. Everything makes me cry, I have so much homework I can't see straight...and shit just ain't right.
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photo_obscura:
Sweetie, watch High Fidelity- that will lift your spirits a little 
I understand what it's like to feel like that though- doesn't it just feel like it gets worse and worse, liek you get to a point where you can't even be like 'okay I'm going to do... THIS' like you can't think at all...
But just take it easy- stay in, watch movies, listen to music you like, eat food you know is bad for you with no cares for the calorie value, maybe do some 'retail therapy' online if youre feeling wreckless, and just chill-
Don't feel like you have to feel better in a hurry- just let it run its course...
best wishes
x
I understand what it's like to feel like that though- doesn't it just feel like it gets worse and worse, liek you get to a point where you can't even be like 'okay I'm going to do... THIS' like you can't think at all...
But just take it easy- stay in, watch movies, listen to music you like, eat food you know is bad for you with no cares for the calorie value, maybe do some 'retail therapy' online if youre feeling wreckless, and just chill-
Don't feel like you have to feel better in a hurry- just let it run its course...
best wishes
x
violet:
Yea i guess i feel a little better today, but for the last three days, the littlest things have set me off into a whirlwind of crazy behavior. Endless tears, balling for hours, anger, sadness, and the worst physical pain. I just feel sick, drained, depressed, and the worst things is, I don't know what the reason is, cause it changes every day.
My actions are getting psycho, For example calling and emailing this boy like 2-3 times a day. This isn't like me, I have nevr acted this way before, I really feel like I'm not myself.,and it's almost like I don't have control over my emotions. I was so upset last night, and feeling physically ill, that I had to masturbate like 27 times while i was sobbing to get the pain in my chest to go away so i could fall asleep. And had to force myself to think of lovely sarah mclauchlin lyrics so that my head didn't wander over crazy thoughts.
It really sucks to feel like I temporarily went crazy. Could it be the fact this is the week before finals week of a 20 credit quarter? Could it be, that my body is just now getting used to a new birthcontrol since it is the second month i have taken it, and i was four days into my second pack, so my body could be adjusting after not having it for a week? Or could it be that my poor little brain is out of seratonin because of all the ecstasy I did when I turned 18, which equals about oh um 50 pills?
well the good news is, i'm feeling a lot more like myself today.
My actions are getting psycho, For example calling and emailing this boy like 2-3 times a day. This isn't like me, I have nevr acted this way before, I really feel like I'm not myself.,and it's almost like I don't have control over my emotions. I was so upset last night, and feeling physically ill, that I had to masturbate like 27 times while i was sobbing to get the pain in my chest to go away so i could fall asleep. And had to force myself to think of lovely sarah mclauchlin lyrics so that my head didn't wander over crazy thoughts.
It really sucks to feel like I temporarily went crazy. Could it be the fact this is the week before finals week of a 20 credit quarter? Could it be, that my body is just now getting used to a new birthcontrol since it is the second month i have taken it, and i was four days into my second pack, so my body could be adjusting after not having it for a week? Or could it be that my poor little brain is out of seratonin because of all the ecstasy I did when I turned 18, which equals about oh um 50 pills?
well the good news is, i'm feeling a lot more like myself today.
meow! god i'm so lame, I'm sitting home on a saturday night doing homework.
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photo_obscura:
I think I've been there... by the way, how CUTE were you in that anniversary bash video! Wish I'd been there... :miaow:
karoshi:
how does that compare to being on vacation on a Saturday night, sitting in your hotel room, on a dial-up connection, and reading about someone who's so lame they're sitting home on a saturday night doing homework? *sigh* hope you were studying something fun-do they teach "history of very dubious piercings" at your school?
if you wanna see me doing my betty boop routine go c heck out the 'anniversary' video that came out today... i'm the girl in the red baby doll dress strattling siren
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anonymouse:
Boop boop dee doop -- ooooohhhhh!
a548456:
Awww... So sexy and cute *hugs*
I'm making a zine for my communication design class, and I am looking for hilarious, drama filled, and interesting instant messenger conversations you may have saved. Don't worry I would definitely change the s/n's.... I'm just looking for real life, anonymous content that would be fun to illustrate with my photoshop skills..Any submissions I pick, I will send a copy of the zine to.
Thanks!!!
Thanks!!!
serendipity:
Hey Girl-
Are you going to be in NYC around the 24th of March? If you are we should definitely kick it!
Are you going to be in NYC around the 24th of March? If you are we should definitely kick it!
nyhcx516:
yea, i smell a party coming up....
i have a 6 page paper due on mythological sculptures of Bernini..... man it's gonna be a doozy. I just saw the movie "old school last night... and I thought it was amusing, it wasn't as great as everyone said it was going to be. H. Bobby felt the same way. did any of y'all see it? i thought will ferrel was funny, but it's...
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noisemx:
I was taken to it by a sad friend, and it did the trick for her. I think Luke Wilson is something good to look at. I don't normally like Will Ferrel, but he was indeed the highlight of the movie. It's an alright movie overall, something I would rather have waited to see late night on cable however.
60ftqueenie:
Iwaited for like a year for that movie to come out... have you read Stupid white men as well? micheal moore is my hero!
I'm going to new york on March 22-29th, any locals wanna show me around?!?!?!?!
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alexkarina:
Wow, it would be my pleasure. You are so awesome--such an incredible smile. By the way, here some interesting shows falling within your days in NYC: Calexico and Nina Nastasia, Mar 22 at Bowery Ballroom; also that day, a "wall to wall Joni Mitchell" tribute at Symphony Space with Laurie Anderson, Ute Lemper, Joan Osbourne, etc.; Cursive at Northsix (that's in my neighborhood--Williamsburg) on March 25; Bettie Serveert at Mercury Lounge on March 28 (I won't be missing that!)... No Hope Sandoval (I love her too)...
woodplank4wheels:
A classic beauty.
my head is pounding and i cunt rmeember what i did last night
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zanarki:
All I can say is you were spectacular!!!
thesixx:
Hrrmmmm....u ok?
i'm taking 20 credits again next quarter!!!! am i crazy or what?
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jolene:
insane.
pr0ject605:
k, I admit, I went to art school so I know nothing about how normal college credits work. But 20 DOES sound like a lot...
argh matey.... so much homework sooooo little time, and what am i doing? watching tv and taking a nap!
maryjane:
ahoy ye land lover, swab the deck ya scurvy dog! sorry, more of that pirate talk again. i just can't help myself... see what you've gone and done pretty violet? 
have a groovy, and peg leg day, maryjane
have a groovy, and peg leg day, maryjanei am at a loss for words.... amazing, that rarely ever happens.....
zona:
are you coming down for the next sinferno? im debating about performing.
atomic_tiki:
I am loss for comments......amazing THAT rarely ever happens...
it's a shame we never got to do that birthday set. maybe next year?