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I reach out and touch the air,
invisible to me but how comforting to share,
moments we make our very own
only to realize the stars have shown
me the way to my bleeding heart
I watch as it pours and never stops

I take a breath
I can see only a few steps ahead
the steps stop!
and I fall
in slow motion
hoping...
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xtx:
Very nice piece of work.
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It's so so wierd how much I've grown as a woman. I used to be this sweet little dumbfuck who really was trusting and naive. Then one day I woke up and realized that people can suck! but it was after I fell in love with a boy who ripped me into a million pieces. and now...ahhh I'm an independent (although somewhat lazy), no shit...
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VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
silencenoir:
I don't think it's weird how you've grown and how we can grown as a person and woman. I think it's great. You have self confidence and truthfully that is very appealing. More than anything else.

so wanna come eat some cheesecake and strawberries with whipped cream with me? I'm kinda obssessed with that too and it has *many * uses.
wink

kiss
flakaseagulls:
after a rough breakup, a lot of my naive overly-trusting nature was burned away. i was distant for a while, but it forged a strong independance i find invaluable. that armor's critical in maintaining a focused direction in one's life. and relationships? well, my attitude now is it'd be great to have one person to explore the world with, but Im' better off single than with the wrong person. and as for the lust, i think my virginity grew back *tries to wipe it off*
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ok.. I'm through. That's it. It's over. Finite. Finished. the end. Tomorrow's another day. I'm a schizo. It's ok. Don't be afraid. I already am. SHit, people are gonna think I'm crazy! But I am. no i'm not. yeah, sometimes. Today!.

now my rant of the hour: about fear:
There is no such thing as "just feeling" a certain way, a feeling is a reaction...
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silencenoir:
Your new profile pic is sassy.....*rawrrrrrr*

I like your definition of fear. That was deep! biggrin I think that most everyone fears something....it's mostly the fear of the unknown. We fear what we do not know. It freezes you up completely and inhibits your thinking.

I found this somewhere....

** Fear is coal black.
It sounds like bones crunching into each other in the middle of the night.
It feels like your hand is stuck in icy sod during a hale storm.
It smells like rancid meat dropped in a cow pie in a huge field.
It tastes like oil mixed with steel wool and topped with nails and tacks.**

ahhhhhh okay enough of that now tongue pump up that stereo beautiful and shake your bootay. We'll all be watching for sure. wink

much love to you !!


aartaxx:
Whassup? yeah the SGNY group. My appication is still pending. God this is rediculous. I'm way too old for this shit. I have no idea what the group is all about. I might not want to join.

_er__ , I can't even type her name what the hell is that anyway?

She's a member I guess. I asked her what they were doing this weekend and she was unable to mention details telling me simply to *try to join* the SGNY group.

I'm getting some distinct Eyes Wide Shut vibes from this.

Password- Fidora

That's it! That's my new member name.
Would love to see some new pics. I just found a bunch I'm scanning tomorrow.
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ok, I'm stuck babysitting today! I've been stuck in the house all day! I feel like I'm going to explode! grrrr
mad

I ate pizza and my tummy hurts now. puke

monday sucks so far but oddly enough i feel good. it must be the rum wink

k peeps kiss

Suddenly I am smiling. biggrin yeah, just like that too!

VIEW 8 of 8 COMMENTS
crazyrick:
Hello there...sad to hear that your tummy hurts. Hope all is well in NY...I'm going to listen to more radiohead now. Goodbye...
drunkpunk:
I just popped by to say i love your belly tattoo! It's a shame that you don't have a clearer close-up pic though frown
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note to self *only go to other people's parties*. It's 9.15 am and I'm finally finished cleaning up. I'm trying to stay up to go to my sis's house in about 4 hours. I hate doing family shit but i love my sis to death.
I need a nap. I had a lot of fun. it was worth it I think. I can barely type....
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VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
suicidesmitty:
come on now, you gotta share. Let it all hang out. Who the fuck are we? Just some anonymous binary idiots.

silencenoir:
*rubs your tummy*
I hope to see you in the group... kiss and much love
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ok, this was one of those days where I knew it was gonna be screwing with me since I woke up! First off, I had a dream , a very fucked up dream that kinda left me in a daze for the first hour of my day. Then I called up a friend to go see Freddy vs Jason. She was late as usual so...
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VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
aartaxx:
So how was the film? You left out the most important detail. Was all that wasted time worth it? I hadn't realized they actually made that film. Freddy VS Jason was a rumor I'd heard years ago that I thought was bullshit. When did that production become a reality? God I've got to start watching TV or reading the newspapers. So out of touch. Just saw Frida. Excellent. and Laurel Canyon. Both on DVD.

Have fun at your party. What's the whipped cream for?
silencenoir:
Talk about trouble....just to see ONE movie. tongue I hate when that happens....it happened to me when I went to see Pirates of the Carribean the first time. Long ass line up plus they had sold too many tickets for the number of seats....lovely!
I'm glad you finally got to SEE the movie. With all the distractions going on, did you get the sense of the story at all? tongue how was it? (nevermind I just read your edit part lol)
If I had gone with you I bet you would have been distracted too wink

kiss you !
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ok this whole journal is an edit tongue

I did mention the blackout then realized that I was over it and I'm sure the media will milk it for what it's worth and boeyond and therefore I can just move on with life like it never happend. Besides, who wants sympathy for being stuck in the dark! Hey, I even like the dark. It was actually...
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VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
ruiner:
I absolutley love it when the power goes out. I live on a hill that overlooks two citys, one on each side. It has never happened but I long for the night I can look out from my house and see utter darkness fill those two valleys. It would be such a beautiful sight. I could pretend my dream came true, I wish I could see this beautiful earth without the scars of human civilazation. Everywhere I go I wonder what the land would look like without all the buildings and houses and parking lots and roads and crop fields. A horrible dream to have because the only way I will see it in my lifetime is if some freak natural disaster just comes and blinks it all out of existence. Too many people would die and I could not savor my dream in that way lol. But anyways it's late i'm tired sorry I missed you earlier today on Aim I was actually out all day. YAY for me. I'll catch you later sometime.
aartaxx:
Sorry about the whole blackout thing. Was in my apartment when I tripped and hit this weird switch on the wall. Never noticed it before. All of a sudden the radio went off. Then my computer. Next thing you know. . .
It won't happen again. I promise.
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I hope everyone's doing good today. I'm doing much better than i was yesterday. I was freaking some people out yesterday. I wasn't really talking to anyone.It's so unlike me to isolate myself, but I felt the need to do it yesterday. I locked myself in my room, listened to some Pink Floyd and just laid there soaking up the music, singing along playing air...
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ruiner:
I get in the moods sometimes too. A bit too much latley but that's ok. It seem latley I havent liked a lot of people around I just want to be hanging out with my 3 best friends. But the urge for a girl in my life pushes me into the crowds tongue

I havent picked up my guitar in a long ass time either lol but I suck so it's ok. I've been trying to teach myself piano.

Well I hope you have a good day though. I have a day of job searching ahead of me puke

Talk to yah later ARRR!!!
silencenoir:
So glad you're feeling better cutie patootie! biggrin

Mmmmm, I love Pink Floyd. It's so relaxing and calming all at the same time. That and chocolate is a good cure wink

or maybe....you with chocolate AND listening to pink floyd?

love kiss
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I wonder what the world would be like without me? No, I'm not going off the deep end y'all! whatever
For the past few hours I've been sitting here just contemplating life and people in general. Am i going through a midlife crisis? shocked if so does that mean that my life is almost over? shocked

I need to read so I can immerse myself in something else....
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silencenoir:
More morbid stories, paleaze? tongue

Thinking too much sometimes, about life and everything else can give headaches. Try not to worry about anything, whatever comes your way -- does for a reason, at least I like to think so.

I'll stop now because it will get too deep!! ha!

Um, on another note.....lure me in baby! -- clothes or no clothes.... doesn't matter wink

kiss
ruiner:
I'd listen to your kitty more often they give good advise tongue
:arr:
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I ended up actually going out with a friend of mine last night. it was cool at first,and while we were dancing some guy kept pinching my ass. tongue That was great. My friend got so drunk I had to play babysitter. She ended up arguing with some girl. Some bs about gays. I don't know. I was playing mediator. I kept telling her to just...
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silencenoir:
Hey cutie!!

Well I wish it was me that pinched your ass last night wink
Sounds like you had fun, aside being the babysitter that is.
Making out in the public bathrooms eh? that sounds kinky to me. tongue

Hope you have fun with your party... if it happens. I wanna goooooooooooo!

kiss
mercury5000:
Chicks dig the ass-pinching, don't they!
That's my sure-fire way to pick up a real prize and bring her home. They just CAN'T resist me
wink
People are nuts when they drink. I'm not, so I have trouble relating.
Oh, and the fetish scene kinda sucks now, I agree. I went to Bondage-a-go-go in SF again the other day and it was LAME. I couldn't believe what happened to all the hottie goth industrial kids. They all gained 50 pounds and aged 20 years
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well, tuesday has been boring and eventless! it's moving as slow as a snail. I went outside and almost passed out. damn! and that's the most interesting thing I have to say for today. tongue

Tell me something good! kiss
pyronautica:
Something good.....hmm.....Yer hawt!smile
suicidesmitty:
Ahhhhnold's not running for governor in NY.

I missed the kleenex while jerking off and made a mess.

George Bush and Johnny A-Hole can suck my cock.

Chipoltle is opening by my crib.

I love dulce de leche.



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I spent all my $$$$ this weekend and have no $ for rent. ooops eeek Well, hopefully my roommates will be understanding and cover for me because I'm such a good friend and this is the first time it's happened. Life! Sometimes I don't wanna be a grown up, but then I think of all the restrictions I had as a kid and realize maybe grown...
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VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
ruiner:
I love Pink Floyd: The Wall. Your right it never gets old.

I have the same problem with my CDs too but I just buy or burn new ones and replace the ones I dont like slowly lol

Well shit Im still bored send me a IM or some shit lol ARRR!!!
zeta:
hola diabolita smile
sabes espaol???
kiss