I was praised in writing class for my strong usage of vocabulary. The gems in question that lead to this were "cromulent" and embiggening". Awwyeah.
VIEW 14 of 14 COMMENTS
I grilled buffalo burgers last night for dinner while my friend stray-cat-steve watched. The patties were premade from Trader Joes and looked really lean, so I draped a few slices of bacon across the top so the fat would permeate them and ensure a moist product. Steve was introduced to bacon, thanks to me dropping a slice, and seemed to love it. Good kitty. In...
Read More
Read More
VIEW 14 of 14 COMMENTS
atomicant:
thanks man. and no, i've got a flank steak in the fridge marinading right now. appreciate the offer though.
unravled:
You're probably right. I'm scared. Can my clown baby and I come live with you?
VIEW 8 of 8 COMMENTS
morgan:
1. That sounds like an album title.
2. Making out to Led Zep = badass.
3. BACON.
2. Making out to Led Zep = badass.
3. BACON.
thefreak:
Bacon? Where?
-TM
-TM
I'm hungry. I wish I had nubile female handlers to feed me grapes. And by grapes I mean bacon. And by bacon I mean bacon.
I park in a pay lot for school pretty much everyday and there's a shitbox Mitsubishi Eclipse that does the same. Only difference is they never pay, and as a result I'm always coming back from class and seeing a...
Read More
I park in a pay lot for school pretty much everyday and there's a shitbox Mitsubishi Eclipse that does the same. Only difference is they never pay, and as a result I'm always coming back from class and seeing a...
Read More
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
thefreak:
I'm hungry. I wish I had nubile female handlers to feed me grapes. And by grapes I mean bacon. And by bacon I mean bacon.
I am intrigued by your ideas, and would like to subscribe to your newsletter.
Also...
"Inspector Hammer, was what you did in the store absolutely necessary?"
"Oh yes, I had no groceries at all."
-TM
munke:
I just finished off some delicious Back Bacon. 
Damned stuff is so good, they can pack 16 ounces of bacony goodness in a 12 ounce package (these days), 'cause they figured out that 16 ounces at a time might be a little too much.
So ya know, I just buy TWO packages at a time now.
Damned stuff is so good, they can pack 16 ounces of bacony goodness in a 12 ounce package (these days), 'cause they figured out that 16 ounces at a time might be a little too much.
So ya know, I just buy TWO packages at a time now.
Dear girl in chem lecture:
I'm so very sorry I "stole" your BFF's seat this morning in chem lecture. I had no idea we had assigned seating until you looked back and glared at me before whispering to your other BFF about the creepy man sitting where your other BFF should totally be sitting. I apologize for this egregious error and hope to correct it...
Read More
I'm so very sorry I "stole" your BFF's seat this morning in chem lecture. I had no idea we had assigned seating until you looked back and glared at me before whispering to your other BFF about the creepy man sitting where your other BFF should totally be sitting. I apologize for this egregious error and hope to correct it...
Read More
VIEW 18 of 18 COMMENTS
morgan:
No worries, I would never manage as a vegan. I need my edible animals.
unravled:
You need to get in more car/waxing accidents with Erica.
New classes start on Monday. Hip hip hooray. I've got a shit ton of Chemistry lab so I took some easy stuff to counter, such as Intermediate Algebra and College Composition. I don't know what I'll be writing about, but the prof better be ready for high-brow dick and fart jokes. It's what I do.
The labs should be the most interesting and probably the...
Read More
The labs should be the most interesting and probably the...
Read More
deceptiviewfilm:
what's college composition?
mistersatan:
God, I hate that show.
I survived front row at Buckethead, and wandering through what must be Portlands' shittiest parking garage at Burnside and 11th. The show was a great one as usual. The roommate and I made it to the front center thanks to a cold wait outside the event. All was good until between the Portland Cello Project and Buckethead when some drunk bitch decided to make her...
Read More
Read More
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
casper:
fucking bucket head scares the shit outta me. out of my princess butthole.
and fights at shows are amusing sometimes, dangerous and scary other times. I know better. Throw elbows!
and fights at shows are amusing sometimes, dangerous and scary other times. I know better. Throw elbows!
babyblue:
Oh man, I wanted the Snuggie so bad after seeing the ad. Then, surfing on here, someone linked to what appears to be perhaps a more sublime blanket with sleeves, the Slanket. Now, I don't know which one I want.
Obviously, I'm not going to spend any money on a fucking blanket with sleeves, because there are better, less useless things to buy.
Obviously, I'm not going to spend any money on a fucking blanket with sleeves, because there are better, less useless things to buy.
VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
mrsted_stryker:
Happy New Year! 
thefreak:
Happy New Bacon!
-TM
-TM
PDX party last night. Good times were had, food was eaten. What a swell group we have. Mistersatan totally behaved and everything. You can thank me for that as I totally stirred a tranquilizer into his food dish. Together we put a fierce hurting on the pigs in a blanket. We're fat guys, it's what we do. Also, hot mustard is hot. Just like atomicant's...
Read More
Read More
VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
casper:
yeaya. I am just getting up.
I think I'm still full from all those little tarts. I let you have all the piglets to yourselves!
I think I'm still full from all those little tarts. I let you have all the piglets to yourselves!
brideofspanky:
that was a strange issue. atomicant needs to fix his shit!
VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
meatpieboy:
Dude. I have no prob with Leinies, but have you tried Schell? They're fucking awesome. Great pilsner, great vienna malt fire something, great dark beer. (It's just called Schell's dark).
I love pale ales, but the whole HOW MUCH HOPS CAN A BEER HOP HOP IF A BREWER COULD HOP BEER thing wears on me. Bring me my malt!!!
I love pale ales, but the whole HOW MUCH HOPS CAN A BEER HOP HOP IF A BREWER COULD HOP BEER thing wears on me. Bring me my malt!!!
babyblue:
So you are coming up tomorrow? I am trying really hard not to use apostrophes right now, and realizing how often I use contractions in written communication. The broken code is bugging the shit out of me.
I'm officially an old man. I actually glared and shook my fist at kids throwing some snowballs at cars. What have I become? I'm more monster than man.
VIEW 9 of 9 COMMENTS
morgan:
I just like glaring and shaking my fists at people in general, really.
atomicant:
i made it without resorting to cannibalism. too bad, right?
Weird Snake fact #9843.1
I've never been to a true Italian restaurant. Not once. Sure I've hit the standard americanized fake chain restaurants, but never a mom and pop type. You know the kind. A little dark, everyone is overly hospitable, and there may or may not be a really fat guy in a suit being fed meatballs by a young women with cleavage like...
Read More
I've never been to a true Italian restaurant. Not once. Sure I've hit the standard americanized fake chain restaurants, but never a mom and pop type. You know the kind. A little dark, everyone is overly hospitable, and there may or may not be a really fat guy in a suit being fed meatballs by a young women with cleavage like...
Read More
VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
mrstitches:
What, like Olive Garden?
thefreak:
Nice hat.
-TM
-TM
Thank you so much. Would you believe I own that and saw it in the theatre twice? Insane.