maxi

Hi

Heh, heh. It was my wedding anniversary yesterday, so I did have an alternate celebration going on
I had to tell you that I have viewed "Saved", and really enjoyed it. I believe that Mandy played a suitable lunatic, evangelico (my word)....

Have a great week.

you need to make a cook book and put it out for sale!!!!! you have got to be a killer cookwith all the food you write about

Those dogs look experienced at taking pictures.

Ohh that pic of the doggies is soo cute such a biiiiiig yawn. and ricotta pancakes..you have to send me the recipe for those they sound delicoius. yumm.

What do two little rascals want to do?

NEW GROUP... check it out! xox

mmmmmm! tasty vittles. You inspired me to put up some my recipes

She's dead! Oh alright not really. Just turned out to be a bit of a player. Mind you, I probably only got involved for my ego's sake. Serves me right really. I like e too but I hate it when you get one that doesn't work. Hmmm..... I could do that over Easter? I hereby decree Easter is now spelt EESTER!

Wide angle lens, yes. Fisheye lens, no.
26 huh? Yeah, I feel 26

two words for you DAY SPA....get an all body treatment to shake off those dead skin cells and give yourself a lift for the shoot....have a great weekend...

Nice one babe!

Happy Monday!

xox

RE: the VF....

That's just a damn shame. Good luck on the weekend.

its funny how you think you are communicating in a relationship but when you sit down and have a serious talk how much communication is really not being let out....i'm so glad that you two are working hard....its hard work...you have to put in overtime...work weekends..hey I sound like Bush about Iraq! .....seriously...wishing you both well..you two are made for each other...keep adding more holes to that shell....let Ant see the juicy center...gawd that sounded sexual.....have a great weekend....do something that you both have been wanting to do but havent had the chance...

sorry to read about your recent troubles. it probably feels better to share them with the SG community than keep them bottled up. it also allows some of us to discern in your troubles what may not be obvious to you.

i thought your choice of a discarded astronaut suit to describe how you felt in your last entry was a strange and unexpected image. it's so specific and original. but yet, when I think about spacesuits, the first thing that comes to my mind is how suffocating they are. which makes me wonder about what role you try to play in Ant's life. another thing that comes to mind is how cold and icy the image is. space is a cold place...do you imagine you and Ant surrounded by all that coldness? Ant..surrounded by you...surrounded by an endless vaccuum. there is also something very perilous about a spacesuit--it needs to perfectly and completely encapsulate the person wearing it. no doubt, though, that that kind of perfection appeals to you. and as i ponder the way your journal has gone, time and again i see the burden of perfection cropping up again and again in what you write. even when you talk about food.

So much for the intriguing imagery in your journal. as far as Ant goes...Ant's got problems, baby. it would do him well to read your journal and the repsones you get if he doesn't already. all i can say is, if he'd RATHER jerk off to porn than have sex with you--if he ACTUALLY SAYS THIS--the relationship has got problems. it sounds like you do struggle with these problems, but by your own admission you HATE when you feel the turnoil. so you guys have a blowout, then have makeup sex, then everything is fine...until the problems that weren't solved by makeup sex appear again and cause yet more turmoil. if you're more concerned about avoiding that turmoil than about growing this cycle will continue until finally you simply float away like that spacesuit...which would be sad, because there are many persons here at SG who would fight to keep you grounded. your tumultuous feelings--in all their wild glory--must be dealt with.

as far as porn goes...someone, somewhere is simply going to have to explain to me what makes SG NOT porn...other than that the women who pose here would prefer not to be viewed and contacted by the "kind of person who likes porn." whatever that means.



[Edited on Mar 17, 2005 8:05AM]

yours was a timely and measured response and appreciated. can i ask what you mean by the "anticipation" of porn?

i do have in mind your recent dealings with someone here who attempted to make a request from you and the way you dispatched him and how it made you feel to be approached online like that. my sense is that most of the women here who pose want a more sophisticated response from their viewership than "just sexual arousal." I suppose by that I mean respect and appreciation, aesthetic and otherwise.

I see better your spacesuit image. don't rule out the possibility, though, that there's more to your choice than meets the eye. for you it sounds the association had to do with the sad way a spacesuit sits, deflated, in its locker. your heart feels like that. but there could be other associations you're making that you didn't consciously consider. just a thought.

Hi Maxi, Firstly please accept a huge hug from me (we need a hug smiley) Now, I am going to be horribly nice for a few minutes so please forgive me. And no, I'm not a strong born again, or any other religion!
Right, well firstly I need to explain that some consider me a bit of a wierdo. So please excuse any wierdness. I am quite within my rights to be different....... Anyway....... To qualify what I have to say (Yeah right qualify , after my previous statement - this should be good!) ---
I am spiritually "in touch" to quite a high degree, to the point that I have seen things and made things happen that nobody can explain or argue as coincidence that actually at the time scared me. I'm also quite smart, and realising that that statement is immodest, don't care! You know when you're smart and if you can't admit that to yourself you should probably stop reading now! (not you Maxi, Ha Ha!)
Now, I am not smart at everything, I just have this knowing? I also have lots of gifts in music, spacial creativity (Like photography, design and concepts) and logic (lucky old me!).
When I look into someones eyes I can see their core soul immediately. I can see their true nature if you like.
So armed with this knowledge..... Here goes!
Sweetheart, when I first saw your photographs I was not drawn to them by your body, all be it great, it was the look in your eyes.
Firstly, I saw a purity of good. A very important soul. It is important because of the incredible value your soul has to our creators work. Lets call it a force or spiritual entity. Anyway, Your soul has an important job. It is here to learn and communicate. Don't know what, who, how or why - sorry!
I see you are a very kind, considerate person underneath a shell of defensive behaviour and insecurities. You are very sensitive. There is a deep, deep sadness and a lot of stress within you that you can't easily relinquish. You are very talented and also have a knowing. You live through your heart. This world is not going to be easy on you until you learn how to access your power.
Imagine an evil force has tried to program you away from the good force through bringing evil influences into your life, making you think that no loving force would let really bad things happen therefore weakening your ability to be effective. Subsequently, debilitating your ability to get close to or believe in a good force or a God. And that is where your power will come from. Letting the force in.
All you have to do is invite YOUR god, the one of good, love, life and peace and happiness, and anything else you sense, In. Then feel for it and go with its direction. You will feel the influences and know when it's right. You also need to allow the force to protect you and it will. Just ask it and do what you know is right in your heart and it will protect you from the evil. Not pain not misery they are part of the lessons, but evil.
Think about it. If you were "the evil god " would you not do whatever you could to knock down the pure good. So if you were such pure good...... Look out!
I have been in a relationship where the only porn was what we recorded for ourselves. It is not your fault with Ant. Possibly you are not right for each other and that is why he is not satisfied. I imagine your love for him could be based on a subconcious need for something he has that you want, to make yourself feel valuable or worthy perhaps? You need to gain your strength from inside you. You need to learn how to not need from others. That way you will be able to more easily identify true love when it comes along. You need to be really strong and push yourself through the barriers of fear and insecurity. Hit your hand against the wall and shout I am going to do it and then force your way through your challenges with sheer determination. Forgive those who have and will hurt you in life. They know or knew no better. They are victims too in a way. You also need to forgive yourself remembering that, when young, you are pretty much on automatic once conditioned You are allowed to make mistakes. Its part of the game/journey and teaches you to think more carefully. Just remember that because you are here, you are meant to be here. You do not owe your existence to anyone. You are a product of "The Creation". As valuable as everyone else. Now get excited. You have a wonderful journey before you. There are no ups without downs no good without evil and no right without wrong. Just be proud of who you are and if theres somethinjg you don't like about yourself, change it. It's your reality and you are in control of how you accept it. Ever wondered why you have so many SG friends?

By the way I have never done anything like this before. It just felt important and right. If you think I am a total wanker now, Meh!
Live your truth!
Your friend James. oxoooooooooooo

Hey, its Wednesday. Are you feeling better today? I decree that you shall. I know that you know what decree means, so don't try and duck the issue. I have spoken.

find something who cherishes your heart rather than crushes it

[Edited on Mar 16, 2005 5:08AM]

[Edited on Mar 16, 2005 6:38AM]

Love the picture!

And yeah, work is weird that way. Where I work, similar things like that happen all the time. What happens more often is people leaving shit in the fridge and forgetting about it. This was more true when I worked in the other buildin'. So irritating, especially since all this stuff piles up in the fridge and freezer and takes up all the room. Of course I'm assuming no at work one does that at home...

yikes ... we have a few of those @ my office too


~ Alien

I loved the `pot not included warning`

i couldnt even get myself high enough to consider seeing that movie props to you missy