dedlyniteshade

i have a love and hatred for bipolar! i love hypermania where i feel like superman(or woman wtf ever lol) and just be so alive, but then i hate when i come down from that and start dwelling and overthinking and worrying !!! the BI- in BIpolar is sooooo accurate cuz i def have 2 parts of me, one soooo happy , energetic and full...
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well to say the least the weekend did not go as expected still decent just not epic!!! my bestfriend was stressed to the point of sickness, bass player took off for the night, and i basically drank, drew on myself with a sharpee and talked via message on here (with a kick ass conversationalist i may add) anywho, got some interesting video i think...
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As of monday i shall start video blogging, first eps. shall be" Twas A Night at The House of INVADER"
shall be full of metal related madness,me and my best friend getting chocolate wasted, and hopefully us sword fighting or playin ninja, hopefully it will be epical Not to Mention a Me giving an interview which i can almost assure will be mildly disturbing yet...
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" LOATHING IN SOLACE... MY SELF INFLICTED DOWNFALL

i cant believe this is my life, i cant believe im me, i look in the mirror and hate what i see , denying it could even be me,

in a hate filled rage my fist makes love to the wall, as he yells at me to make it end, i look at him with vicious eyes,...
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I've realized that the littlest things in life make it worth living for me, something as simple as a friend to talk to that i feel i can be myself around, sadly around these parts tis hard to come by! hell, i may go back to having a pen pal lol, ive REALLY gotta get out this house more!!! white walls= loss of sanity

HAHAHAHA WENT ON MYSPACE TODAY 1RST TIME I LOOKED THROUGH BLOGS IN YEARS!!! I WROTE THIS WHEN I WAS 16!!!! LMAO~!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Current mood:creative
fuck you nimble, fuck you prick! your repulsive exsistance it makes me sick, my sweet lifeless darling your blood is so thick, it might be thinner if it came out quick,

little whore in the corner, no one will mourn her, her...
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bout time i finally got new account, had model app. account open for a good few years, up coming set hopefully by mid to late june.Im a self-photographer so it takes me more time, also im not happy with body enough at moment but getting there lol. I should be feeling better now, school started, job planning, bartender comp's im going to participate in, but...
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