dedlyniteshade

bout time i finally got new account, had model app. account open for a good few years, up coming set hopefully by mid to late june.Im a self-photographer so it takes me more time, also im not happy with body enough at moment but getting there lol. I should be feeling better now, school started, job planning, bartender comp's im going to participate in, but cant shake this coldness i feel and its THE SUCK!!!! I always help friends with their problems and in a way that helps with mine because then i dont have to think about mine in which i cannot fix! one thing i recently asked a dear friend that was down and out..."what do you want in your life and are you happy or comfortable? Well i wasin bath tub the other night trying to relax and i decided to ask these questions to myself.... sadly i responded in my head"i dont know" to both questions. Where do i go from here? Life is VERY limited it seems (mine anyways) and theres always something but dammit im turning this shit around, i spent ALOT of time dying id like to live now!!!!!!!!!!