cabaretic said:
With my current girlfriend, I mostly am the one who starts things, though at times she has taken the initiative and been the instigator. I am very lucky because whatever it is I perform on her, she reciprocates and does not cease until I have been fully satisfied. We both work hard at love making in every facet. What I put in, I get back.
With past sexual partners, this hasn't been the case. I was with one woman who hardly ever reciprocated. I had to go above and beyond before she would bother to return the favor. If I did receive anything in kind it was grudgingly done in a very half-hearted fashion. There have been others who haven't reciprocated and I found out later that they felt they weren't very good at such things but didn't want to admit it at the time.