zombie_nirbhao

a year ago today, some pretty bad shit went down.

I was faced with some uncomfortable goings-on, but my reaction was a little over the top. just a smidgen. I'm torn about even posting this, because it's far from flattering. it happened, and it matters, and without knowing that I can't explain where I am now.

I don't remember a lot. mainly what I remember...
Read More

everyone go say happy birthday to my friend, John.

(he's on sg every day, even though he pretends otherwise)

drugs:

things:
1. I've fallen a bit behind on my homework. this means:
a. reduced sg time
b. better enforcement of the sleep / wake schedule
c. my friend's socks won't be done by his birthday
2 yesterday provided a test I did not pass.
3. certain songs I like more because of their titles, like where bluebirds fly by radiohead and fuck this shit by...
Read More

today, my girlfriend reminded that she is not sloppy seconds.

she said she loves me with everything she has, but she is not just there when I don't have someone else. she comes first.

she is right. all she wants is for me to be happy. she will generally let me know if she thinks something that I'm doing might make me unhappy, but she...
Read More

I'm having a hard time reconciling tao with being in law school.

drop the ego, accept helplessness

some exercises require more effort than others. it's usually worth it.

I don't want to be cranky anymore. assignment:
tell me wonderful things. tell me things that make you smile. tell me things you hope for.

edited to add:
I need to get my head back on straight...
Read More

oh, what an ogre I am!

you told me to go out, just do something... go out.

the clot of my classmates passed the irish pub, the tapas bistro, the steak house, and the greasy spoon for fridays. the discussion largely centered around drinking now, drinking in the recent past, and drinking in the near future.

I sipped my lemonade.

talking has become far less...
Read More

boundaries:
paper wall, berm, electric fence, cliff
can you know which it is until you test it?

I'm too hungry for how badly eating hurts.

suggest music, preferably ambient. background study type stuff like this.

interstate 196 was a parking lot as the lunchtime traffic struggled around a three-vehicle accident. one of the cars was under a pickup truck.

when I was in catholic...
Read More

(I'm constantly amazed that no one has figured out that I'm a fraud)

going into the third week of school and ....I think?.... I'm doing just fine.

heart third year anniversary is in less than a month. more like three weeks. three weeks from tomorrow.

job two year anniversary is coming up, too. about two months.

it's all just a dream, I think. I'm just...
Read More

things:
1. I grilled shish kabobs today.
2 my period has knocked me out. I made myself stay up past 9, so I watched a movie
3. (lars and the real girl.)
4. I was nervous about knitting socks on straight needles, but I *love* this heel
5. my mom says she is in paradise
6. birthday and father's day: a cohiba and a 1990...
Read More