zilah

i don't know... i have had such pointless pain happen to me the past few months... and part of me wants to vent and scream and whine, but then i think that so many have it worse, and that it could be worse for me... so i just go numb with alcohol and try to keep my mouth and heart shut about it all.

and my heart has been hurting alot lately... afraid to go back to the cardiologist...

my large heart gives me physical pain and drives everyone away. noone wants a loving person in their life anymore it seems. they want drama and excitement.

getting numb

the alcohol and pain meds help.

the new year....

i hope for...

love

friends (old and new)

inner peace


we will see i guess