Sunday Dec 18, 2005

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so here it is... my 3rd winter alone. i don't know what it is.... bad luck i suppose. i hope i make it through this one, i've lost 15 pounds in the past 2 months. don't seem to have an appetite. all i hear is you're too nice, you're too perfect, your beauty is too intimidating. lies. all i see is that i am faulty, needy for affection, and very much a plain jane. i think the real truth is that i bore people. i don't have many friends, i speak very rarely, happy as can be just watching movies with someone all day, and i prefer not to debate, argue, or examine. BORING. but i won't change, so... i just wait for another perfect boring person to come along. i really have had enough of being alone. (sigh) yeah i know, feeling sorry for myself is hardly attractive. i have my good days and bad days... today just happens to be one of those................. blush

death guild tomorrow.... dancing always makes me feel better.
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maha:
sounds like you could use a bit of cheering up. Well here goes..... It could be that you are a person of depth and maybe this makes it a difficult to have surface conversations.however, Having that feeling of affection and care is very important (no lie). In my experience it's best to keep quiet and maintain, Until you feel like it or of course or as something comes along. As for what for what you're going through, seems to me you're doing pretty well.....take care blush
_jimmy:
Im not gonna toss any cliche's at you. I've been where you are, who hasn't? Shit I'm still there at times. I've got no words of wisdom for ya, just know that there are more people like ya. This time of the year can be a real bitch. frown

just keep talkin.

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