zenexistence

I know I said I'd give more info on St Louis, but, I'm still confirming [and denying] things, so this update will take a bit longer.

On other fronts [all is quiet on the Western, recognize] I'm forced to accept that tomorrow is indeed my birthday.
Yee-fucking-haw.
Birthdays can suck it.
But on the [very limited] plus side ...

... Flo wished me a happy birthday via e-mail.
In some small countries this means we're married.
Or I owe her eleven chickens.
Or something like that.

Moving on, someone please buy me this cake:



On the subject of food; one thing I do NOT want for my birthday is pie. My office bought me four.
Four.
Three key lime, one apple.
FOUR.
I was asked once, "Scotty, what's your favorite kind of cake?" to which I instantly and unwaveringly responded, "Pie!" I am now paying for that response and it's a good chance that I will be approaching adult-onset di-UH-beetus within the next few minutes.
With that said, I also do not want cantalopes ...



Also, I would like a baby opossum, please. An organic, free range fellow, if you'd be so kind. I would call him OooooOoooOOoo, because I believe all opossums constantly struggle silently with the non-worldwide acceptance of the spelling of their names.



It goes without saying that I want a giraffe, because if you've known me for longer than .23951 seconds I've probably spouted this information at the top of my lungs at least half a dozen times, probably delivering this knowledge in time to the "What's Happening!!" theme.



Now as cool as giraffes are, there's one pet I do want that provides a significant tactical superiority over a giraffe.
Crazy, you say?
No.


It makes me think is the monkey was allowed to play more games he'd be less aggressive.
We shall blame Mom.

If I had a monkey that played video games AND performed as a top-notch sniper I readily admit I would probably quit SG and all other social media options instantaneously because, really, what's the point? Game over. I would have won life.

Switching gears, I've been eating too much canned food as of late. Too tired and too, well, tired to shop.



Did you notice that my favorite person ever went pink?? Chrysis I'm so damn proud of her.
So damn proud. She's all grown up and soon she'll be stealing money from my wallet and "borrowing" the family car. Sniff, sniff.
For ewe, my dear:



Okay, I have a polo tournament two hours south tomorrow morning, so I need to get going. There's no better way to train than to drink beer on a 90-degree day with 90% humidity.
I think I'll do this very thing.
If you're going to aim, aim high.

I'm off like a sarong!

Eye<3ewe,
Scotty

PS oh oh oh!