If you haven't caught on yet, I love cats.
Completely and utterly.
We go together like peanut butter and jelly.
Or Nutella and anything.
I'm super-busy most of the time and I openly admit that I don't spend as much time with my animal as he would probably prefer. Sometimes I'm gone for days at a time (either physically, or in some cases, mentally) so I like that cats have the ability to fend for themselves yet still be balls of massive affection when need be. I'll probably be the standard Crazy Cat Guy on your/the block eventually (only with more tattoos and a better argyle sock collection) although I'm not one of theose people with eleventeen gillion cats; I just need Bones.
Say "Hi" to the SG peeps, Bones:
I've had this guy for going on decade. He's moved so many different place and acquired so many different accents that I'm pretty sure even he doesn't have a clue who he is.
[Editors note - He really doesn't have an accent. He's a fucking cat. How would that make any sense?]
He's probably seen/heard/experienced many things that would constitute animal cruelty in some form or another and for that I'm deeply sorry.
So I make it up to him by spiking his tuna with bourbon.
Kidding.
It's actually scotch.
Kidding!
In my younger years I was quite lacking in self control, had zero idea how to consume alcohol in a responsible manner and, shockingly, as a result it wasn't completely unheard of for me to partake in a minute ruckus now and again. I eventually learned through experiences taught and experiences partaken of that this was indeed a silly way to live life and cured myself of such base and wanton ways.
Alas, there is still proof in the form of pictures circulating that catalog one of my last-known grievous brawls:
Please note the last picture, which should probably be captioned, "Bitch, please".
Well, since we're discussing cats and brawls, this is as good a segue way as any. Check out 1:17:
Onward to other important matters ... hedgehogs!
I'm totally writing a short story around the premise of hedgehogs right now, hence the preoccupation.
What?
More pictures?
Only because you beg.
Poor little dudes! Seems that they have an issue hibernating if injured. I didn't know that was the case, I just assumed they'd totally just konk out and feel better come spring time when they were ready to prance and frolic again.
[Editors note: Yes, YES he did just use prance AND frolic not just in the same article but in the same goddamn sentence. Makes the mind boggle, really.]
I might have to start a Hedgehog Defense Fund.
Don't think I won't.
Could you resist this face?
Okay, one more picture and I'm off to explore the land of home-brew and sushi.
And with that statement, dear people, I leave you with ...
-Scotty
Completely and utterly.
We go together like peanut butter and jelly.
Or Nutella and anything.
I'm super-busy most of the time and I openly admit that I don't spend as much time with my animal as he would probably prefer. Sometimes I'm gone for days at a time (either physically, or in some cases, mentally) so I like that cats have the ability to fend for themselves yet still be balls of massive affection when need be. I'll probably be the standard Crazy Cat Guy on your/the block eventually (only with more tattoos and a better argyle sock collection) although I'm not one of theose people with eleventeen gillion cats; I just need Bones.
Say "Hi" to the SG peeps, Bones:
I've had this guy for going on decade. He's moved so many different place and acquired so many different accents that I'm pretty sure even he doesn't have a clue who he is.
[Editors note - He really doesn't have an accent. He's a fucking cat. How would that make any sense?]
He's probably seen/heard/experienced many things that would constitute animal cruelty in some form or another and for that I'm deeply sorry.
So I make it up to him by spiking his tuna with bourbon.
Kidding.
It's actually scotch.
Kidding!
In my younger years I was quite lacking in self control, had zero idea how to consume alcohol in a responsible manner and, shockingly, as a result it wasn't completely unheard of for me to partake in a minute ruckus now and again. I eventually learned through experiences taught and experiences partaken of that this was indeed a silly way to live life and cured myself of such base and wanton ways.
Alas, there is still proof in the form of pictures circulating that catalog one of my last-known grievous brawls:
Please note the last picture, which should probably be captioned, "Bitch, please".
Well, since we're discussing cats and brawls, this is as good a segue way as any. Check out 1:17:
Onward to other important matters ... hedgehogs!
I'm totally writing a short story around the premise of hedgehogs right now, hence the preoccupation.
What?
More pictures?
Only because you beg.
Poor little dudes! Seems that they have an issue hibernating if injured. I didn't know that was the case, I just assumed they'd totally just konk out and feel better come spring time when they were ready to prance and frolic again.
[Editors note: Yes, YES he did just use prance AND frolic not just in the same article but in the same goddamn sentence. Makes the mind boggle, really.]
I might have to start a Hedgehog Defense Fund.
Don't think I won't.
Could you resist this face?
Okay, one more picture and I'm off to explore the land of home-brew and sushi.
And with that statement, dear people, I leave you with ...
-Scotty
VIEW 13 of 13 COMMENTS
Anyway, I blame the other half on this. I can't believe I forgot to mention last night that one of my best friends turned me shamefully on to following a cat on Twitter. Some of the posts had me laughing during work yesterday. Like, helplessly. Examples:
- TIME FOR A HOLIDAY as a cat I am given 364 holidays and one floating holiday
- pad pad pad OH YEAH I AM THE KING OF STEALTH yeah look at me being stealthy oh wait PAD PAD PAD PAD TWITCHY TAIL there we go
- AH TO BE A KITTEN AGAIN the things I would shred the curtains I would climb NOW EVERYONE KNOWS I SHOULD KNOW BETTER oh heck let's do it
- HOORAY IT IS @FOOD_LADY BIRTHDAY DAY where's my present food lady OH IT IS FOOD YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE well actually yes you should have
- DISTRIBUTING YOUR PAPERWORK VIA BITTORRENT what do you mean bittorrent doesn't mean knocking stuff off your desk SEED PLEASE
- hello I am here for my petting GAH WHY DID YOU TOUCH MY HEAD ok back now let's try this again GAH WHY DID YOU TOUCH MY BACK
The last two were big lulz. I think I truly believe a cat is tweeting.
Glad to hear you'll be in the hood soon!