Thanks to Drave, Lambda, and SleeplessinSD for your comments. Much appreciated. You helped me directly and indirectly see the real reasons behind my loneliness outburst.
I need to institute some living situation changes pronto. I work seven days a week. I've been worn out and stressed, making ignorant mistakes, and getting little sleep. So scheduling those changes isn't going to be easy, but damn I...
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I need to institute some living situation changes pronto. I work seven days a week. I've been worn out and stressed, making ignorant mistakes, and getting little sleep. So scheduling those changes isn't going to be easy, but damn I...
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VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
Some time in the recent few weeks, SG became less about checking out the girls in the latest sets and more about making human connections. I try to catch up after a few days of not really looking at the girls. But I feel increasingly distant somehow. Not disinterested in the physical awesomeness of the female form in all it's incarnations, but just this feeling...
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VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
drave:
Where heres how I see it. I used to look for love .. and then once I really fell in love for 3 1/2 years.. and found that the 3 1/2 years was all a lie.
So I dont look for love anymore... but I think that everything will work out for you.
I talk to you here online a lot and You know what I see? I see someone who is very very smart and awesome to talk to and not scared to be who you are. Any girl/guy loves that in a person!
You know maybe I didnt know why your smiling but I do care about whether you are smiling or not when you get online!
So we all care about you.
I am really glad that I have a friend like you on here. Makes me smile.
...friends are better than love...
lol. In my opinion.
Anyways so
I am soooooooooooo happy for you about that Diamond deal. How fucking awesome is that? I hope that it really works out for you!!! That will be fucking kewl as hell! I'd be happy if I got that deal... not having to pay until they are sold. Wow.
That guy that I talked to in the club was okay and,,., I mean next time I go to the club I am sure ill see him and talk to him but im not going to take it farther than that. I am just tooo focused on my skool work to allow any distractions and I think thats a smart decision. But you know I can always be his friend and hang out with him if I ever have time. lol .
So I dont look for love anymore... but I think that everything will work out for you.
I talk to you here online a lot and You know what I see? I see someone who is very very smart and awesome to talk to and not scared to be who you are. Any girl/guy loves that in a person!
You know maybe I didnt know why your smiling but I do care about whether you are smiling or not when you get online!
So we all care about you.
I am really glad that I have a friend like you on here. Makes me smile.
...friends are better than love...
lol. In my opinion.
Anyways so
I am soooooooooooo happy for you about that Diamond deal. How fucking awesome is that? I hope that it really works out for you!!! That will be fucking kewl as hell! I'd be happy if I got that deal... not having to pay until they are sold. Wow.
That guy that I talked to in the club was okay and,,., I mean next time I go to the club I am sure ill see him and talk to him but im not going to take it farther than that. I am just tooo focused on my skool work to allow any distractions and I think thats a smart decision. But you know I can always be his friend and hang out with him if I ever have time. lol .
venti_mistake:
I know how you feel. My ex -wife was my world. And then that world dropped right out form under me. I was so lost and panicked and finally desolate. I decided one night to just put it all out there and do something that would otherwise have terrified me. I guess it was my way of saying fuck it to the world. And the minute I did that, someone popped up out of the blue. I don't want to rush into anything but man, I can't deny the way I feel about her right?
I used to be the type to scoff at people who were like, "hey I met this awesome person on the net!"
And now it has happened to me! The irony is just kills me. It proved to me that love just is. It's nothing you can find, it finds you, and always when you least expect it.
My friend I know that lightning will strike you. When I saw that picture I thought to myself, "this is a guy I would totally love to have coffee with and take in a show and just hang out." All that form your smile.
I used to be the type to scoff at people who were like, "hey I met this awesome person on the net!"
And now it has happened to me! The irony is just kills me. It proved to me that love just is. It's nothing you can find, it finds you, and always when you least expect it.
My friend I know that lightning will strike you. When I saw that picture I thought to myself, "this is a guy I would totally love to have coffee with and take in a show and just hang out." All that form your smile.
Today some thug-lifer's came into the computer store (one of my partner's businesses.) with some macintosh computers they needed help with. I am the only person with macintosh experience for about fifty miles so I helped them out. Seems they are getting into the recording studio business. They have no idea what they are doing. They asked me to work on the sly for the...
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drave:
Yeah. Maybe my grandpa isnt loosing it although sometimes he does seem like it even to me. lol. But uh lets see My grandpa is 55? I think. Im not sure. So yeah hes under 60.
Hes a really kewl guy I only see him like twice a year though cuz he lives like 4 hours away.
Im having a lot of problems with my camera lately and imll have to buy a new one it wont transfer pictures to the computer and its just on its way out. Its been through a lot. lol. But uh I am hoping that with Christmas money I can buy a new camera and then maybe I can get you a pic on here. Pics I take with my cell phone are not clear at all so Ill hav eto wait till I buy a new camera. A lot of picture I have of me are stored on my friends computer and he accidentally rewrote over his hard drive last night and I was getting ready for the club and he came over crying saying i lost all your pictures. But I was like MAn dont worry about its not a big deal. I felt really bad cuz he was crying sad. I guess he felt really bad because they were picture ive taken since the 9th grade.
Sucks but hey thats what life gave me ill accept it and move on.
I would shave my head but its already shaven above my ears underneath and I think if I just get a hair cut i can salvage some hair. Sooo, ill just get it cut short. Or something. Blah. Yeah the lady at the hair black told me if I cut a inch or two off my hair would start getting heathier. SO thats probably what i'll do.
Id type more but my mommy needs the computer.
Hes a really kewl guy I only see him like twice a year though cuz he lives like 4 hours away.
Im having a lot of problems with my camera lately and imll have to buy a new one it wont transfer pictures to the computer and its just on its way out. Its been through a lot. lol. But uh I am hoping that with Christmas money I can buy a new camera and then maybe I can get you a pic on here. Pics I take with my cell phone are not clear at all so Ill hav eto wait till I buy a new camera. A lot of picture I have of me are stored on my friends computer and he accidentally rewrote over his hard drive last night and I was getting ready for the club and he came over crying saying i lost all your pictures. But I was like MAn dont worry about its not a big deal. I felt really bad cuz he was crying sad. I guess he felt really bad because they were picture ive taken since the 9th grade.
Sucks but hey thats what life gave me ill accept it and move on.
I would shave my head but its already shaven above my ears underneath and I think if I just get a hair cut i can salvage some hair. Sooo, ill just get it cut short. Or something. Blah. Yeah the lady at the hair black told me if I cut a inch or two off my hair would start getting heathier. SO thats probably what i'll do.
Id type more but my mommy needs the computer.
lambda:
What's with the whole "chapel perilous" thing? I've noticed shady types tend to talk alot about karma and vibes and omens, and sometimes even peace and love, getting caught up in little synchronicities, and then go around screwing people and not paying much attention to the consequences of their actions, i.e. lack of dependable friends, open and intimate relationships, peace, security, etc.
Does this relate?
Yeah, I feel like these freaky dealings get me out of my bubble and show me the weirder side of life. I try to remind myself not to get caught up in, attached to, or be "more sly" than the sly folks. Good luck, and don't let them near your women-friends!
Does this relate?
Yeah, I feel like these freaky dealings get me out of my bubble and show me the weirder side of life. I try to remind myself not to get caught up in, attached to, or be "more sly" than the sly folks. Good luck, and don't let them near your women-friends!
So trying to change patterns and begin new patterns. Working that whole "30 days to habit" thing on various angles. Now adding "very cold" water to the end of the shower routine, agni sari prana breathing to more morning ab workout, daily drawing time, writing time, cleaning time, and others to be named and deployed later. Granted they aren't all going to be started immediately....
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drave:
Trust me I'm pretty careful with my black widow. I dont really wana get bit. lol.
Your store sounds like it is very very stressful. Hug* Hmm my grandpa is Buddhist and he always gets me to do that breathing Yoga stuff. Everytime he visits he makes me sit down and mediatate with him. My Grandpas wierd. Hes really kewl though. He called my mom and was like well do you think You all would like to go to a nudist colony sometime in the spring. My mom was like HELL NO and he told her to ask me.
I dont know if I wanna go to a nudist colony with my GRANDPA lol. But my minds still open. lol.
Anyways good luck with the ARt school that you start soon. Sounds like it will be a lot of fun. I would love to see your some of the work you do while your in school.
Your store sounds like it is very very stressful. Hug* Hmm my grandpa is Buddhist and he always gets me to do that breathing Yoga stuff. Everytime he visits he makes me sit down and mediatate with him. My Grandpas wierd. Hes really kewl though. He called my mom and was like well do you think You all would like to go to a nudist colony sometime in the spring. My mom was like HELL NO and he told her to ask me.
I dont know if I wanna go to a nudist colony with my GRANDPA lol. But my minds still open. lol.
Anyways good luck with the ARt school that you start soon. Sounds like it will be a lot of fun. I would love to see your some of the work you do while your in school.
lambda:
"agni sari prana breathing"
Funny, I was just reading about it this "morning" in Anatomy of Hatha Yoga, which is a good book but oh-so-thick, kinda highlighting the "little at a time" mentality. I'll read 2 or 3 pages a day every so often, and even if I don't really the whole thing I always learn something new when I sit down with it.
That whole cleaning thing still gets me, though...
Funny, I was just reading about it this "morning" in Anatomy of Hatha Yoga, which is a good book but oh-so-thick, kinda highlighting the "little at a time" mentality. I'll read 2 or 3 pages a day every so often, and even if I don't really the whole thing I always learn something new when I sit down with it.
That whole cleaning thing still gets me, though...
I've been in a daze for months now. I thought I was waking up but now I just realized that I ran off the road headfirst into a tree. What the fuck. Anyone got any ideas as to how to wake myself the fuck up? 
addendum: the tree is a metaphor, sorry. A tree as in I've come to a sudden stop in progress,
I...
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addendum: the tree is a metaphor, sorry. A tree as in I've come to a sudden stop in progress,
I...
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VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
chai:
thanks for YOUR kind words!! really 
im not afraid of the new flat im living, no no, i love it, its agreat flat! the thing around afraids me some times, but i realized a lo these days... m feeling more and more comfortable with myself! i dont have much words fort that... expecaially in english... but i think you know what i mean, i think the wish is just beeing contented with the own person, whatever what happens around... hope u have a great weekend!! 
thanks for YOUR kind words!! really im not afraid of the new flat im living, no no, i love it, its agreat flat! the thing around afraids me some times, but i realized a lo these days... m feeling more and more comfortable with myself! i dont have much words fort that... expecaially in english... but i think you know what i mean, i think the wish is just beeing contented with the own person, whatever what happens around... hope u have a great weekend!!
lambda:
So I guess this is the best place to respond to your response Sorry if it's a little out-of-stream.
'
I was refering to waking up from the eternal dream, being lucid, enlightened, etc, not really just "waking up". '
Oh, yeah, I know. I was being a little coy, but at the same time, have you seen pictures of those japanese monks standing under waterfalls? I've begun to realize how really truly COLD that water actually is, and how in some sense the body's urge to self-preservation somehow arrouses the mind to unify, dispel attachment, and really be present.
Two things that come to mind -
* Have you ever read descriptions of people dying of cold? Mostly, at the moment people give up and succomb their bodies are flooded with physical warmth and an accompanying sense of peace and well-being. I feel like there's some deep relationships between our generation of body heat, our seeking out heat in others, and the transcendental life force that we're all trying to understand or at least get along with.
* On the other hand, I've hardly ever thought, seen, perceived and been so clearly aware as during the few migraines that I've had. The pain made all distractions and desires and plans and preoccupations and whatever else totally irrelevant, and what was left over is the closest I've come to "pure thought", which wasn't necessarily helpful in my life except that I felt WAY more calm and clear afterwards, and in generel felt more big A Awake.
"What are you studying?"
Alot of things right now, including my own bipolar tendencies of working very hard for a little while and then sabatoging my efforts :/
Sorry if it's a little out-of-stream.
'
I was refering to waking up from the eternal dream, being lucid, enlightened, etc, not really just "waking up". '
Oh, yeah, I know. I was being a little coy, but at the same time, have you seen pictures of those japanese monks standing under waterfalls? I've begun to realize how really truly COLD that water actually is, and how in some sense the body's urge to self-preservation somehow arrouses the mind to unify, dispel attachment, and really be present.
Two things that come to mind -
* Have you ever read descriptions of people dying of cold? Mostly, at the moment people give up and succomb their bodies are flooded with physical warmth and an accompanying sense of peace and well-being. I feel like there's some deep relationships between our generation of body heat, our seeking out heat in others, and the transcendental life force that we're all trying to understand or at least get along with.
* On the other hand, I've hardly ever thought, seen, perceived and been so clearly aware as during the few migraines that I've had. The pain made all distractions and desires and plans and preoccupations and whatever else totally irrelevant, and what was left over is the closest I've come to "pure thought", which wasn't necessarily helpful in my life except that I felt WAY more calm and clear afterwards, and in generel felt more big A Awake.
"What are you studying?"
Alot of things right now, including my own bipolar tendencies of working very hard for a little while and then sabatoging my efforts :/
Swarna, the girl from VA just wants to be friends afterall. I guess it wasn't as monumental a moment as I imagined it to be. It still felt really good for a day or two. Oh well. Everyone I show interest in either doesn't return it or seems oblivious to my liking them. I think I am pretty obvious with my flirting, but oh well....
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una:
Yeah, some girls think that they are so fucking hot that the only reason a guy would talk to them is cus they want to jump their bones in a bad way 
Haha!
yeah! yeah! unity all the way! A lot of what I dais can be understood using different terminology. and I like you idea of the crone as the future and mother as the past . . .
[Edited on Dec 05, 2005 5:54PM]
Haha!
yeah! yeah! unity all the way! A lot of what I dais can be understood using different terminology. and I like you idea of the crone as the future and mother as the past . . .
[Edited on Dec 05, 2005 5:54PM]
contextual:
Bullshit - you're a monster! Burn it!!
Nothing much to do this weekend besides work and live in the noise and wreckage of my flooded apartment. It's not horrible but..no. .I was going to complain about it, but I just read some blog entries by girlblue's blog at thoughtswithoutathinker.blogger.com. It reminded me of what's important. About letting go, not carrying that karmic weight around my neck. It's like cutting the tension/suspension lines...
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drave:
yeah I suppose it would be hard for you to advertise while your on your trip. Hope everything goes k w/ your jewl store.
I really do need to call that chick....just no motivation. I will maybe Wed. because i'm not working Wed. so I can tell her to come hang out or something. Yeah so the black tree would have been kewl but my mom doesn't like that idea too much so I told her we can spray paint it pink but she didn't like that either. Oh well.
[Edited on Nov 28, 2005 7:45AM]
I really do need to call that chick....just no motivation. I will maybe Wed. because i'm not working Wed. so I can tell her to come hang out or something. Yeah so the black tree would have been kewl but my mom doesn't like that idea too much so I told her we can spray paint it pink but she didn't like that either. Oh well.
[Edited on Nov 28, 2005 7:45AM]
drave:
Hey Hot Topic probably does sell em but I try to stay away from there.. I used to work there and now i'm soo sick of it. lol.
I'm usually not shy at all with girls that I am really interesting in. This girls seems kewl and i liked her but I wasnt as interested in her as she was me. Like at the tattoo shop last year one girl told me that she liked me a lot and so I walked right up to her and kissed her. lol.
No my parents arnt married they split up when I was 10. But they are still frieinds. I have no step parents which makes me happy.
Sounds like a lot of work your doing! Good luck with all of that.
I'm usually not shy at all with girls that I am really interesting in. This girls seems kewl and i liked her but I wasnt as interested in her as she was me. Like at the tattoo shop last year one girl told me that she liked me a lot and so I walked right up to her and kissed her. lol.
No my parents arnt married they split up when I was 10. But they are still frieinds. I have no step parents
which makes me happy.
Sounds like a lot of work your doing! Good luck with all of that.
so check this shit...one of my former employees calls to tell me that as he walks into work this morning greeting everyone with a hearty, "good morning guys!" he's promptly told to sit down for a meeting. They proceed to tell him that he either needs to resign immmediately and receive a reference or get fired. It seems some of their clients have been calling...
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raleighboy:
I doubt I'll ever work for someone else again. It eats away at my soul.
drave:
Geeez thats seems messed up... 
I am glad that your jewl. Shop is almost done. Diamonds hmmm I have always thought they were inetesrting, Well the science to them anyways.
I don't know much about jewlr. but I only wear like Gothic looking rings.
I ended up going to make up my lab on Thursday. I am glad it is over with.
I guess I could shave my head but it's pretty much all shaved now. It's shaved all the way up past my ears. I think I may just get it cut really short instead of shaving it all. Yep Yep Yep I have been a Manson Fan since the 5th grade.
I am glad that your jewl. Shop is almost done.
Diamonds hmmm I have always thought they were inetesrting, Well the science to them anyways.
I don't know much about jewlr. but I only wear like Gothic looking rings.
I ended up going to make up my lab on Thursday. I am glad it is over with.
I guess I could shave my head but it's pretty much all shaved now. It's shaved all the way up past my ears. I think I may just get it cut really short instead of shaving it all. Yep Yep Yep I have been a Manson Fan since the 5th grade.
You know, I keep trying to move on, but my ex called me tonight since we haven't spoken since she told me she got engaged. It's hard to fucking be happy when this person that I devoted my life too is suddenly head over heals for some guy she hasn't even known two months.
I don't have love-love for her anymore. It's the whole severing...
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I don't have love-love for her anymore. It's the whole severing...
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drave:
You know our tattoo shop doesn't charge anything as of now. The only thing that we ask of our learning artist is that that come in as much as they can and really try to learn and help us manage and clean the shop. I learned how to pierce at the shop I am at now for free. The only thing is we only take a certain number of people like 2. Right now we have none. But VA laws are about to change and I dont know what they are gonna be.
You know Ive been waiting since I was 17 to join Suicide Girls. I wanted to apply but I was only 17 so I waited until I was 18 but when I was 18 I was waaaaay to bizzzy with learning to pierce and moving into the college lifestyle that I just didnt have time. But now that I am 19 I figured it was about time. lol.
Hmm well my set will probably not be up for months some girls have been waiting a year. Geeez a year is a long time.
I do wanna learn how to tattoo but I really dont have the patience to tattoo. I barely can deal with people enough to pierce them more less than tattoo them for an hour or two.
[Edited on Nov 16, 2005 8:06AM]
[Edited on Nov 16, 2005 8:07AM]
You know Ive been waiting since I was 17 to join Suicide Girls. I wanted to apply but I was only 17 so I waited until I was 18 but when I was 18 I was waaaaay to bizzzy with learning to pierce and moving into the college lifestyle that I just didnt have time. But now that I am 19 I figured it was about time. lol.
Hmm well my set will probably not be up for months some girls have been waiting a year. Geeez a year is a long time.
I do wanna learn how to tattoo but I really dont have the patience to tattoo. I barely can deal with people enough to pierce them more less than tattoo them for an hour or two.
[Edited on Nov 16, 2005 8:06AM]
[Edited on Nov 16, 2005 8:07AM]
drave:
Hahaha. You know whats pretty funny? I told my teacher I couldn't make it today so I still have two more days to make it up. I guess thats just putting off the stress but for some reason I just reallly didn't want to do that today.
Other tattoo shops around here change a couple thousand we are the only shop that doesn't charge.
I am sooo happy for you with your jewl. store! Thats awesome. I bet your glad it's about to start going.
Oh yeah and I shave my hair all the way above my ear. I have been using this one shampoo that is sopposed to thicken my hair but that shit just don't seem like it's working. Im not worried about it cuz im'll just stop dying it for awhile.
My natural hair color is brown. I'll try to get a picture of me on here with my natural colored hair, but the last time I had natural hair was in 6th grade. So that pic will have to do. lol.
My best best friend in the whole world took my set pictures. His name is John. I met him in Highschool in 10th grade and ever since we have been the bestest friend but we tried to date once and it was just WIERD so we are friends now.
I'm about to go out to eat.
Yum Outback I LOVE THEIR SALADS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
[Edited on Nov 16, 2005 2:00PM]
Other tattoo shops around here change a couple thousand we are the only shop that doesn't charge.
I am sooo happy for you with your jewl. store! Thats awesome. I bet your glad it's about to start going.
Oh yeah and I shave my hair all the way above my ear. I have been using this one shampoo that is sopposed to thicken my hair but that shit just don't seem like it's working. Im not worried about it cuz im'll just stop dying it for awhile.
My natural hair color is brown. I'll try to get a picture of me on here with my natural colored hair, but the last time I had natural hair was in 6th grade. So that pic will have to do. lol.
My best best friend in the whole world took my set pictures. His name is John. I met him in Highschool in 10th grade and ever since we have been the bestest friend but we tried to date once and it was just WIERD so we are friends now.
I'm about to go out to eat.
Yum Outback
I LOVE THEIR SALADS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!![Edited on Nov 16, 2005 2:00PM]
Rabid induction.
In the docking bay, pointing towards a life-pod, Messiah fats looks into the darkening eyes of Soleva, hesitates for a second wondering if it wasnt already too late, then says, the disease is spreading. Its time to go. bba killer will be here soon with Sinicide. We have to have everything ready when they get here. There isnt time to save anyone else....
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In the docking bay, pointing towards a life-pod, Messiah fats looks into the darkening eyes of Soleva, hesitates for a second wondering if it wasnt already too late, then says, the disease is spreading. Its time to go. bba killer will be here soon with Sinicide. We have to have everything ready when they get here. There isnt time to save anyone else....
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raleighboy:
I like tragic airship stories. There is something romantic about lighter than air travel.
drave:
Wow uhhh.. Interesting
Haha anywayzzz
I go to CNU.
I really didn't wanna watch this new Willy Wonka but my moms roommate bought it so I ended up watching it. It actually did have this one part with poppets that looked like something wicked as hell. That was the only kewl part in the whole movie.
I like Kiss with the makeup but thats just me. I will have to scan a picture of me when I was in highskool dressed up as... Ace I think. I dunno.
I like their music but i'm not a huge fan.
Right now I am taking Developmental Psychology and it's pretty kewl. We are learning about memory which is something I already know so it's easy...
My tattoos are nothing special. ..but they all mean something to me. I have a star on my foot that I actually tattooed myself. Its a star that looks like it's ripping off my skin. Whenever I can get some pics on here I will take a picture of it.
Four of my other tattoos were done by an friend of mine so I have his first third fourth and seventh tattoos that he ever did so they are not really as good as they could have been but they mean a lot to me. I was his practice paper.
Haha anywayzzz
I go to CNU.
I really didn't wanna watch this new Willy Wonka but my moms roommate bought it so I ended up watching it. It actually did have this one part with poppets that looked like something wicked as hell. That was the only kewl part in the whole movie.
I like Kiss with the makeup but thats just me. I will have to scan a picture of me when I was in highskool dressed up as... Ace I think. I dunno.
I like their music but i'm not a huge fan.
Right now I am taking Developmental Psychology and it's pretty kewl. We are learning about memory which is something I already know so it's easy...
My tattoos are nothing special. ..but they all mean something to me. I have a star on my foot that I actually tattooed myself. Its a star that looks like it's ripping off my skin. Whenever I can get some pics on here I will take a picture of it.
Four of my other tattoos were done by an friend of mine so I have his first third fourth and seventh tattoos that he ever did so they are not really as good as they could have been but they mean a lot to me. I was his practice paper.
Just another day in the uneventful life and times of Laurinburg, NC. Oh yeah.
raleighboy:
No, I ment "?" about your last journal.
ryah:
my "old" room was where i used to paint &i have spilled many cups of dirty paint water &oil paint tubes all over the carpet.so it is becoming my new destroy-everything-that-is-of-carpet-paiting room.my new bedroom is where my computer &bed is.yay!
Rabid induction.
In the docking bay, pointing towards a life-pod, Messiah fats looks into the darkening eyes of Soleva, hesitates for a second wondering if it wasnt already too late, then says, the disease is spreading. Its time to go. bba killer will be here soon with Sinicide. We have to have everything ready when they get here. There isnt time to save anyone else....
Read More
In the docking bay, pointing towards a life-pod, Messiah fats looks into the darkening eyes of Soleva, hesitates for a second wondering if it wasnt already too late, then says, the disease is spreading. Its time to go. bba killer will be here soon with Sinicide. We have to have everything ready when they get here. There isnt time to save anyone else....
Read More
pot, espresso (or kola nuts, if you got'em), and plenty of loud, rhythmic music (rainydawg.org, WUOG.org, et al.)...?
has worked for me; I just plan on not doing much the day (or two or three) after.
Living space totaly effects my mood - so long as the mess is mine I don't care too much how messy things are, but when combined with the messes of roomates and our equal stubborness to not clean someone elces mess . . . ooh it gets bad.
usualy once I find the root of the problem it's farily easy to act on it and change it + it doesn't get to me as much cus I know that I'm not just going crazy - there's a reason!