My big problem is I need to get over this stupid macho bullshit that's been ingrained in me after years of TV and movies.
Despite my best efforts I find myself always thing stupid things that don't make sense, and have no real place in my life. For instance:
The idea of my girlfriend fucking another guy makes me feel bad. But the idea of her fucking a girl is fine. It doesn't make sense. It's just this vauge macho instinct that some other guy is getting the one up on me by having sex with my girl. We're not cavemen for christ's sake. These kind of feelings have no place in my world, especially because I'm in an open relationship.
And I have a tendency to be jealous of other people having sex, too. Like it's a contest. They did this really crazy thing and I feel jealous, I wish I had done it. I know life isn't a contest, and the purpose of sex is not to WIN, but my emotions just doesn't understand.
These feelings usually pass, but they always come out of nowhere and hit me pretty hard. If someone I like hooks up with someone else I feel jealous, even though I'm in a great relationship and love my girlfriend to death. I know I should be happy that someone I care about is happy, but I really feel bad. Then I feel guilty that I felt jealous in the first place, and I feel even worse.
I hope some day I can overcome these feelings, and tell my emotions to look at the big picture like my brain can.
Despite my best efforts I find myself always thing stupid things that don't make sense, and have no real place in my life. For instance:
The idea of my girlfriend fucking another guy makes me feel bad. But the idea of her fucking a girl is fine. It doesn't make sense. It's just this vauge macho instinct that some other guy is getting the one up on me by having sex with my girl. We're not cavemen for christ's sake. These kind of feelings have no place in my world, especially because I'm in an open relationship.
And I have a tendency to be jealous of other people having sex, too. Like it's a contest. They did this really crazy thing and I feel jealous, I wish I had done it. I know life isn't a contest, and the purpose of sex is not to WIN, but my emotions just doesn't understand.
These feelings usually pass, but they always come out of nowhere and hit me pretty hard. If someone I like hooks up with someone else I feel jealous, even though I'm in a great relationship and love my girlfriend to death. I know I should be happy that someone I care about is happy, but I really feel bad. Then I feel guilty that I felt jealous in the first place, and I feel even worse.
I hope some day I can overcome these feelings, and tell my emotions to look at the big picture like my brain can.
btw, hallo