zaq

As I write this I watch an old moth die from old age:



I had forgotten how much better everything looks in color.

These last few months for me have been tremendously difficult, and for some reason I had forgotten what it was I left behind. Why had I become so depressed? Why was I no longer acting as I once did? I mean, how could I have switched my view so fast that I hadn't even noticed my view was switched?



I had forgotten the world is beautiful.

How I let this slip my mind, I don't know. Right now I sit here on a street corner, and I am enlightened. This all sounds so played out, but I believe that's because other people have been here before. Other people have had this realization. And this is the key: other people. Through being so depressed and having only been extracting



beauty from the ugly, I've become introverted. This is not what I want to be. I want to love for the first time, I want to give, but most importantly, I want to share. There is no use living in this world as a single unit, and it's time for me to evolve past this primitive state of 1. For some reason, unknown to me now, being 1 is what I strived for when I



entered college. My entire life up until that point had been spent living for others, and this would've been the perfect opportunity to start living for myself; and I tried this. But why, why would I want to live for myself and not others? I honestly don't understand the point. This is something I had to learn.