Its a Sunday... how I despise sunday's. When Sunday comes along one knows that last week has come to an end and one must start a whole new week not knowing what that spanse of time has in store for them. Truely I hate not knowing the Future, however laughable that thought may be.
As of late I have spent my time trying to avoid trouble. I am quite a disfunctional Piece of Machinary and am unable to avoid any sort of Renezvous without getting into some sort of mischeif. Yes I truely am just a bundle of impulses and although the logical part of my brain can try to control them... the illogical half continuously chooses to indulge in my unnaturaly self defeating behaviors.
So my current state of being has become quite deminutive and Sober. How I hate sobriety, yet I hate being an addictive irradic and most often embarrasing piece of work I become when I give into my natural tendancies. So here I sit at home withstaining from contact with my fellow cohorts so as not to disturb the simple peace that I am trying to keep with myself.
So I pass the days with internet surfing, reading, and watching too much law and order for my own good.
Its been almost a month of me passing my time this way. At least I haven't caused any more problems by coming home a drunken wrek and being the violent alcoholic that I am. I am oh so proud of myself and oh so misrable at the same time.
All I have to do is hold out till October, then make my grand escape from this land of temptation that I live in.
Ironic as it seems, I can go out almost anywhere and always run into somebody that I know, and then proceed to give in to impule and drink or use like a fish. I guess you can say I can't wait to go somewhere where I don't know anybody. Its not that I am trying to run from my problems as it may seem, but I am trying my best to avoid them.
Ahh.. what a disfunctional piece of scrap metal my mind has become. Unable to stand up to its own compulsiveness! However, I am trying my best to work on this, It is probably the reason why I am so... well Insane. But Never fear... the medication keeps me sain enough to function! No more going to neverland and wandering through random neighbos houses thinking that Aliens are after Me and waking up in Jail! This I am most pleased by! Its a step up from where I was a few months ago!
So I sleep... a whole lot... and I stay Inside... Like some sort of wretched leprechaun buried in its whole... and I manage to please those I care about by not fucking up.... and I hope that the time will pass quickley... How I love eating Seroquil.
As of late I have spent my time trying to avoid trouble. I am quite a disfunctional Piece of Machinary and am unable to avoid any sort of Renezvous without getting into some sort of mischeif. Yes I truely am just a bundle of impulses and although the logical part of my brain can try to control them... the illogical half continuously chooses to indulge in my unnaturaly self defeating behaviors.
So my current state of being has become quite deminutive and Sober. How I hate sobriety, yet I hate being an addictive irradic and most often embarrasing piece of work I become when I give into my natural tendancies. So here I sit at home withstaining from contact with my fellow cohorts so as not to disturb the simple peace that I am trying to keep with myself.
So I pass the days with internet surfing, reading, and watching too much law and order for my own good.
Its been almost a month of me passing my time this way. At least I haven't caused any more problems by coming home a drunken wrek and being the violent alcoholic that I am. I am oh so proud of myself and oh so misrable at the same time.
All I have to do is hold out till October, then make my grand escape from this land of temptation that I live in.
Ironic as it seems, I can go out almost anywhere and always run into somebody that I know, and then proceed to give in to impule and drink or use like a fish. I guess you can say I can't wait to go somewhere where I don't know anybody. Its not that I am trying to run from my problems as it may seem, but I am trying my best to avoid them.
Ahh.. what a disfunctional piece of scrap metal my mind has become. Unable to stand up to its own compulsiveness! However, I am trying my best to work on this, It is probably the reason why I am so... well Insane. But Never fear... the medication keeps me sain enough to function! No more going to neverland and wandering through random neighbos houses thinking that Aliens are after Me and waking up in Jail! This I am most pleased by! Its a step up from where I was a few months ago!
So I sleep... a whole lot... and I stay Inside... Like some sort of wretched leprechaun buried in its whole... and I manage to please those I care about by not fucking up.... and I hope that the time will pass quickley... How I love eating Seroquil.