zaftigg

...ode to katxxrixx xix xxgxn...

14 years and I'm still angry
not at you
at what you did

14 years and old men want to jerk off to our history
to my reality
to my therapy and medications

14 years and I'm still confused
at whether I should hate you for letting me touch you
or love you for mind fucking me when you did

14 years and I'm still a glutton for punishment
looking for a teet
waiting for a thrashing in a dark well

14 years and you've moved on
you're married and you even teach kick boxing
you're an occupational therapist
with reasonable disfunctions

14 years and here I am
trying to bind myself in pain
trying to bind myself in that moment where you made me doubt everything for 14 more years

and it will be another 14 years before you and I mention this




side note... everyone said i was the victim, you being nine years my senior... but I knew what I wanted. I was pervert coming out of the womb. I knew the moment I slicked through the vagina that this was a structure I would live to worship and deconstruct for the rest of my life. and here I am. deconstructing you. in front of everyone...

cl0ck