so close to returning. sometimes i'm relieved and more often than not i cringe at the idea.
easier than real life. yet a catch twenty-two situation. i want my brain back from the military. i need to re-engage the world and entice my intellect again. though i could just as easily stay for the ease of existence; orders are given, knock tasks/missions out, too easy.
i play with staying the course for this career or taking up my passions in an economically unstable climate complete with wife (feldgling family). i can slave for the man if that means good paychecks, a house, and full benefits for Felicia with her health problems.
it's ironic that i'm in a job that trains to efficently destroy and all i want in my mind is to grow organic crops on the volcano side of the Big Island and orchids in a green house. What a false statement "Livin the dream is" which we utter with sheer sarcasm to each other in passing on the way to mindless work.
there's a lot of pride and recognition in this country when in uniform though, and it's appreciated on this side. what it boils down to is the person to your left and right, the only way you can drive on.
On the upside, the events waiting for me at home i'm attempting to push to the overwhelming joy column and when i dream and list them it works and i'm excited. I have a house newly decorated that i've never seen, live music and epic events stacking up, hiking excurions, surfing, beach chillin, romantic date nights with the wife, regular healthy sex, Sailor Jerry Rum, skydiving adventures, family time, and everything else being newly planned day by day. What's not to love about leaving this barren wasteland of what once was the Garden of Eden?
easier than real life. yet a catch twenty-two situation. i want my brain back from the military. i need to re-engage the world and entice my intellect again. though i could just as easily stay for the ease of existence; orders are given, knock tasks/missions out, too easy.
i play with staying the course for this career or taking up my passions in an economically unstable climate complete with wife (feldgling family). i can slave for the man if that means good paychecks, a house, and full benefits for Felicia with her health problems.
it's ironic that i'm in a job that trains to efficently destroy and all i want in my mind is to grow organic crops on the volcano side of the Big Island and orchids in a green house. What a false statement "Livin the dream is" which we utter with sheer sarcasm to each other in passing on the way to mindless work.
there's a lot of pride and recognition in this country when in uniform though, and it's appreciated on this side. what it boils down to is the person to your left and right, the only way you can drive on.
On the upside, the events waiting for me at home i'm attempting to push to the overwhelming joy column and when i dream and list them it works and i'm excited. I have a house newly decorated that i've never seen, live music and epic events stacking up, hiking excurions, surfing, beach chillin, romantic date nights with the wife, regular healthy sex, Sailor Jerry Rum, skydiving adventures, family time, and everything else being newly planned day by day. What's not to love about leaving this barren wasteland of what once was the Garden of Eden?