Noticing that you are maturing is a scary thing because it slowly means the acceptance (or at least understanding) of all that shit that your elders have been telling you all along. Instead of going out like usual on the night before a trip, pulling an all nighter, chugging obsequeous amounts of liquor, and then getting an hour or two of sleep and dragging the whole day snowboarding, I decided to stay in, well go out real early, slam a couple shots, and then head in early so i dont miss one miniscule second of fun on the mountain this weekend. thankyou MLK jr. for everything you did and for giving me a day off of work. The true sign of a hero is presented in when he gives a day off of work or school. Hot Hot Heat's singer really does sound like Robert Smith from The Cure but nonetheless am happy my gracious friend has introduced me to them. Pretty damn good for any of you out there who wish to check them out. Too many deep thoughts are driving me nuts and into the downward spiral again. I wish she would just be okay already and not worry about her weight and other esteem issues. Maybe we all need to get soem bullets whizzing by our heads and friends die to realize that life is soo much more important and significant than worrying about little things. When I say significant, I mean its significant to us individually. In the scheme of life, we are hardly in the equation. Alright, my dreamland is calling.
girlcatx:
you know, i like listening in to your existential dread. the last few lines are terribly true.
nova_____:
It's true, though. I know we all love life whenever thing are going really well, and then the shit hits the fan, and it's hard to see the light on the horizon. Life sucks when it sucks. I believe that the truth eventually comes out, and that good will always prevail. It just takes a looong ass time to ge there. I seems like too many people concentrate on their looks and losing weight, and if they don't see you doing the same thing, they judge you. As for me, I don't really care. I have bigger better things to concentrate on than looking good. I you are a decent person, the good things just happen to you. One of the fundamental rules in life is to help someone in need, even if you don't expect anything in return. And Judge not. Bad things happen for a reason, but that's hard to remember when you're in the middle of the shit I have had soo many friends and people that I was close to die within the last few years. Last year, a friend of mine died in a car accident, another commited suicide, and someone I went to HS with died. In the last 3 months, 3 people know died. One was shot by a cop, one died of a heart attack, and the other one I suspect commited suicide. A few years ago, me and my friends were worried that a carload of friends died, because they didn't show up to see Jello Biafra speak at UAA. They were in a REALLY bad car accident. A certain Suicidegirl was in BAAD shape for a long time. We were all really scared for them. You know, all of this just helps me realize that we're not invincible, and we won't be here forever, and that we're lucky to be able to spend this time with the people we love, and we should cherish it for as long as we can. No fighting, no drama. Just appreciate what we have. Love,Nova