nova_____

Nova,

Chloe said that I should write to you because we are fellow Alaskans. I was going to write you something funny about forming the Northern SG Alliance but then I read your entry. It is hard to be lighthearted after reading what you are going through. I am really sorry to hear of your troubles down there in that strange southern world. You are right--when the fucked up things happen they happen hardcore (and I could tell you about some fucked up shit!). There is really nothing I can say but I sincerely hope that you and your little one are able to reunite and that you can get yourself out of there.

Ember

you have a birthday tomorrow-
and i'm the first one to say happy birthday- ha!!!
quarter century woman- well done- you made it this far!
G.

okay....Alf i can see.
but Urkel?

now you're just being silly.

Oh my god, that was hilarious!!!

michael bolton-Hah!
here's one of my favorite words: Alacuoth.
which means "Involuntary defacation during sex."
ouch. talk about embarrassing

Yeah, it IS sort of creepy...sweating and sitting...it's like being an extremely obese person. I worked up on the slope for an oil contractor a couple of years ago, and they have man camps to stay in, and one particular camp had a small movie theatre and a nice sauna, so I would take saunas after work. One time, my friend Gabe and I and this really huge Samoan guy were in there, and the Samoan guy was totally rocking-out to headphones and doing jumping jacks in the sauna. It was hilarious!

"good stock"?
geez...that's encouraging.

i, for one, think you look beautiful.
very.
and 6', 155#, sounds like a good fit to me.
you are smart, and your journal always makes me smile.

and for god's sake, don't stop eating cookies.
that's my secret weapon.

i took German for 3 years.
didn't learn a thing.

damn genes....but no worry, you're loverly (yes physically, but even more so in all the ways that really matter). as for the "skinny" thing....as aforementioned, almost 6' and 155...you're doing pretty damn well. i was married to a person who really fell into the whole "i must be skinny" thing....she did the treadmill thing for an hour every morning, ate nothing but broccoli with I Can't Believe It's Not Butter and in the end was extremely thin (though i'm sure she never will find herself to be thin enough). she approached her waif goal but it did nothing for anyone who bothered to scratch the surface....she was a soul-less, superficial life-draining bitch...but i digress.

wait, what was my point? oh yeah going against my self-imposed standards of etiquette and shamelessly (read: unabashed honesty) complimenting a friend.....

you're loverly

just woke up. brain not working.

Cat From Outer Space.....sad.....sooo sad.....

*sniff*

i wasn't aware of fact #1...i apparently have many-a wife i only have two facts at the moment:

1. i make funny faces when i yawn while smoking.
2. my dad's current obsession: fish tacos

i spent christmas with my parents in vegas and on one of the first nights i was there i was driving around with my dad when he sked out of the blue, "have you ever tasted a fish taco?" i of course started giggling. i'm amazed by some of the things that my parents say. one thanksgiving, my mom asked during the middle of dinner, "what's camel toe?"...apparently she had heard it on tv and had been asking all of her friends. i have another thanksgiving story that involves my mom and the cleaning lady finding a condom...but i'm babbling enough as is....so til next time... smiles and such

I'm also a horse. What's more, I'm also a pisces. I think that means that boys like me twice.

and what does a Swedish schoolgirl sound like when she giggles?

do they really say that about Horses?
i musta been born in the wrong year....seriously.

either that, or i should get a refund.

oh my god, I've been doing it wrong all these years.

gaaar, the Idaho Spud candy bar --- I'm so happy somebody else knows about those. Yah! they suck.
astro pops.

ahhh yess, Barrywhitesex.
Once upon a time, I was staying in a convent in Dublin (long story--part of it is run as a hostel) --it's this really big empty creepy old girls school that sprawls and meanders and looks like it should be haunted, with icons askew on peeling paint walls, and decorated with remaindered 1960's children's carpeting with quickdraw macgraw and race cars on it. there are, of course, lotsa of quiet and ooooold Irish nuns gliding through the halls, and a crackling intercom that echoes through the bldg-- very brooding and surreal.
Anyway, I had hooked up with this cute Hungarian girl who was also staying in the hostel. We were mid-coitus, heading towards crescendo, nice rhythm, etc... getting closer and closer, and all of a sudden, booming from the intercom, crackling incredibly loud we hear "Seestah Mahry Maaargret, you 'ave a phone cawl."
It was hilarious--this incredibly hot moment instantly turns into a sooper surreal naughty inappropriate thing, we both burst out laughing, kind of rolling our eyes at all those waves of catholic nun-inspired guilt, momentum lost, well for about ten seconds.
That, I think, was my favorite moment of sex background noise for me: nuns. amplified.

it's swell that the closest friends are usually the most evil. my friend marden and his bf are two of the most sinister bastards i've ever been blessed to have met. I have a framed napkin hanging on my wall. written on the napkin is a note that marden's bf left for me the morning i left jersey after a loverly week stay:

bobblicious (mark),
well well what can i say? thanks for eating my icecream! would love to have you live here.
see you soon.
love from the bitchhole xoxo
enjoy your flight - porkass

see what i mean? loverly indeed!
p.s. for some reason one of their friends thought my name was mark. i met him while marden was out... he came up to me and said, "it's nice to meet you mark". feeling particularly lazy that day, i just replied, "ok. nice to meet you too" and that was that. i was mark. i didn't experience any arrow ass-whipping, but i did go to a gay porn store! i had never seen a dildo shaped like a fist. there's something to think about!

Hahaha, what would posess you to taunt a moose? You trying to get yourself killed kid? Well I just took a Business Law class so basically I can tell you jack shit about the law because who really pays attention to that crap until your in the predicament yourself? I had a little run in with the FBI at a much younger age. I was 14 and sold some weed to my friends who ended up in the hospital because it was laced, they narked on me and the fbis were at my door because they thought I was this big time dealer and what not. I gave them the seeds i had from my last bag and they left without pressing charges or anything. woooo, scary. But honestly, if you need any help with some of this shit and your lawyer sucks, I can lend a helping hand with informatin finding. Talk to you soon and stay away from them damn moose miss northern exposure.

hmmm,
this device of yours sounds intriguing.
good luck on your legal stuff. I am willing to start a petition on your behave saying that you don't deserve bad things to happen to you, and that instead everyone should just give you their secret candy troves when ever you ask --- and EVERYONE has a secret candy trove. It always drove me crazy that my brother would freeze his left over easter candy and save it until months later. I, the piggy, would gobble mine down tout suite (toot sweeeeet) asap. Then I would surreptitiously sneak chocolate from his icy headless chocolate bunny trove. Now I have a candy stash all my own. You can have it if you want.

thanks for the greets! i turned on the tv earlier and they were washing a dirty duck with dawn! they were even brushing her little bill with a toothbrush! that's one clean duck! then, a little later, some open-shirt, attractive alpha male in an elevator was spraying a substance on his bare chest...wait it gets better....an awkward little chap steps on the elevator followed by an attractive corporate gal who i felt would make a perfect match for the aforementioned alpha male. but ya know what? she made googly eyes at the 2nd fella and bammo!!! mistaken pheromone-induced stranger sex! i saw an ad later for the same pheromone. in that commercial a woman fondles a mannequin's nipples! that clinched it...i gotta get me some dawn and stranger--sex-inducing-pheremone! happy thursday!

[Edited on Jan 09, 2003]

Why is he even with that ol lady? Kick him in the ass and maybe it will straighten his brain out because that's where it seems to be residing.

what a beautiful juxtaposition of subject matter! reminds me of the age-old philosophical paradigm that matt groening so eloquently modernized in his "life is hell" series: if god is everywhere, is he in the toilet? juvenile...maybe....profound....undoubtedly....well, it is at the moment...i've been cleaning a few guitar parts and i think i may have inhaled too much Brasso. mmmm, cheap, unexpected high....

Hey thanks for the dream interpretation. I'll say more later but for now I'm goin' ta bed. See you in the AM. Or PM depending on when I get up...

everyone i know who goes to Alaska can't shut up about how beautiful it is, so I can see why you miss it (Illinois really can't compare...i moved here too from somewhere prettier).

yeah apparently being ill is fun because i can't seem to get enough of it.

At least you got rid of your cat. Id pawn that thing for a pair of tube socks. Its more important for my feet to stay warm than to sneeze and have welled up red eyes. As for any addiction, they didnt have a FA class? Foosball Anonymous class? Shit, must not have been in California. They have a damn help group for everything. Is it snowing back home? I havent talked to my parents for a few weeks.