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1. approaching eight years 2. is same person as 1   3. approaching 15 years  4. a few months ago, but it was a bad kiss - we each wanted something different and it was expressed in our kisses  5. same as 4, first time since 1   6. whenever I saw a particular employee in a coffee shop, but I stopped going there to cut costs.  7. whenever I last heard the voice of the woman in 6.  8. Rampant COVID is a big one.  SG has been a lovely community that relieves the isolation, propagates beauty and communication, and is often diverse.  While I love it, I am occasionally haunted that the viewer-image relationship and the commenting on sets is too objectifying as a kind of appraisal, but objectifying is essential to human sexuality.  We look, we like.  We hear, we like (the secretary with the erotic phone answering voice).  We witness great thinking, we like.  And on and on.  That desire should not dehumanize for us the people we desire.  It depends on what each individual involved wants.  Dehumanizing completely ignores or rejects the humanity of the desired, as when a person is desired only as a body to be used, or a means to obtain wealth.  I often wonder what SG Hopefuls want to achieve with their modeling, since the sets aren't guaranteed paid.  Yet, I know myself that erotic and nude modeling is fun to do as a model, but what more is there to it?  Need there be more? Ending on relationships: If you've been in horrible relationships and are introverted, you may know how hard it is to attempt to date.  If your liked, you may stumble into one relationship then another, but that doesn't mean you know how to date.  I, for one, am still learning.

I have to remind myself it's okay for myself to grow old.  I've never been bothered by others aging.  It's natural and inevitable and should be accepted at least on that basis. It's most strange to experience it socially, when others seem clearly to act a certain way toward me because of my age.