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I just had an absolutely lovely mushroom and spinach croissant.

My power went out yesterday because I didn't transfer accounts on time--I actually sat around writing by candlelight. The whole idea amused me so much I wrote lots of crap.

And I'm listening to Hot Snakes right now and I feel like trashing my room. Except it's already trashed from half of my apartment life...
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I had a delightful time tonight. I'm very sorry I skipped out. At least there were lots of beautiful women for me at the second party I went to...that's not consolation for anybody but me, but yeah...

But alas, went home alone again. My friend did tell me that she wished she was going home with me instead of her date though. I felt bad...
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I'm in the process of renting out an extra room in my apartment. It's hard. I feel like I don't have and authority to decide who should get to move here.

And no one wants to rent it once they've seen my room (which coincidentally is attached to the very nice patio). They keep telling me how awesome the place is, but still leave as...
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My ribs knead the air out of my lungs, prep them for the inhale of someone else's rolled cigarette, someone else's smoke. I find it hard to imagine whose fingers laid the tobacco, whose tongue sealed the paper. I look through the apparent mist and this face, scarred but with no indication of gender/sex, only wrinkles to indicate the many years behind and few years...
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Listening to records poses a danger to my verse.

Every composition feels suspiciously pastiche, threateningly un-owned, uncertain and nervously coveted.

Occasionally, words of times and things that could not possibly be mine, find their way onto page and those, oddly enough, unclothe how it is to hold this head at this height.

I keep missing SGLA events! I've been absent from my computer since my stepsister came to visit.

And wouldn't you know? I'm still coughing...how that hangs on, I'm not really sure.

I was frightened a few minutes ago, but now I can't remember what over.

I'm stuck! On a stranger, of course. There was this girl at the bar(?) in a shearling coat and blue hoodie. When I looked at her I could feel myself talking softer and moving slower. SHe made me feel like being "tender" or creasing my steps before making them. And there was another woman, who looked like Edward Furlong, I wanted her too. She was...
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So I've finally admitted what I do. I also work in a computer lab and I used to work in a lingerie store. The world of lingerie is much more vast than I could have ever imagined.

New Years turned out alright though I still wish I might've dropped by the SGLA party.

Why am I embarrassed to be a film student? I think because...
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Well! Turns out that silly little stomach flu I got wasn't a stomach flu at all, it was full on 104 fever, night chills, sweating through all your clothes kind of flu. But now I'm getting slightly better.

I can't go to the SGLA party after all because I've been roped into that "retro" party I mentioned (with two friends I like and one who...
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Merry days to everyone (for those who want them). I got the stomach flu and teacups for Christmas. The teacups were quite nice.

Can't decide whether to go to SGLA New Year's Eve party or my old co-worker's performance which has been described as an event out of the new retro, "flaming" youth subculture. Makes me curious. Not that I always haven't been uncertain myself....
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Excuse my previous entry, please.

I'm better now. I'm thinking of a wheelchair going down a runway at an airport. I'm thinking of grey and pink bowling shirts. And I'm thinking about the workable fixative you spray on pastel drawings so it doesn't smear when you trip over them in the middle of the night.

knob creek bourbon is pretty nice when you're kicking back in the hot tub you've never used before...

my ex just told me that I remind him of how much he hates himself...

I keep having dreams/nightmares about my lady from WV...

And I've rediscovered the joy of singing along to Fiona Apple. And when you're drunk, you sing really loud.

But screw all that....
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