yourfacehxc

yesterday i saw my friends adam and reznik downtown. i like both the guys. well actually, reznik i barely know. anyway, they asked me why i haven't come by lately and i said because i've been so busy with moving and work and shit. i lied. i just haven't felt like sitting around with a bunch of stoners who don't do anything. but regardless, it hit me shortly after that; i have so much to do in the next three weeks. so so much. everyday i procrastinate and think about how i should get this and that done. doesn't happen. so i hope i don't end up still packing the night before we set sail for the midwest. no fun.

try watching the sunset and listening to the song "stanley kubrick" by mogwai.

for the first time in a year, i was late to work today. and no one seemed to care except for me. things like that follow me for days.

i leave for orange county in a few days. there's still time to buy a lifted truck.

so i was reading someone's journal yesterday about how lonely they feel all the time. how no one ever even looks in their direction and how they always end up getting screwed when something does come around. i think we all share similar feelings because relationships are just practice in a way. we all meet ass holes and jerks and manipulators. we all get screwed and we all have done the screwing. and the sense of loneliness lingers every time a beautiful boy and girl walk arm in arm past you. a couple weeks ago matt and i were talking about how there are so few cute girls who are absolutely sensational as well, and they always seem to either find the worst or best guys. and how guys like us end up settling or always searching. but once in awhile i get these feelings...and i had this feeling when we were talking...that once in awhile, the nice guy wins the race. and he and i are just paying our dues...fighting the good fight so that someday everything we have invested will mean something. because afterall, you don't know what you've got till it's gone. and the fact of the matter is, you are beautiful my friend, we both are. and so are the rest of those who fill our lives. have faith that you'll someday get yours and remember to never judge a book by it's cover. because we if did i would think you're one of those hot, too cool for school scene girls who would never give me the time of day and you would think i'm some straight edge bro hardcore kid that walks fast and is too aggressive. hell, maybe we are. but there's always something more than what's on the surface. when you walk past people, connect your eyes to their's and smile.

oi. i'm hungry. but i'm about to sleep. no snacks before bed. but goddammit. i'm hungry.