It all seems so futile sometimes. And these sometimes feel like all the time.
I saw my ex last night at a mutual friend's birthday. Dude also has been sh*t talking me apparently, saying that I carve attention (honestly, who doesn't to some degree??) and pity. Fuck that, I don't need anyone's pity. Just your money and food!
He also said that I wanted him back. No offense dude...but I didn't want you back at all. Sure, I missed the good times we had because I loved you more than anything. The first year of our relationship was filled with me thinking about him allllll the time, and loving almost every moment. But in the end, he was way too sensitive, and I'm a bit of a harsh girl. Unfortunately true. So I actually initiated the relationship ending conversation, and we mutually went our separate ways. I made him make the final decision though, because I knew the answer and the solution would be to end it, but I needed him to stand up and say it himself. He was pretty insecure with everything about himself, so coddling him did nothing but hurt us both. He's still young and very immature, but I'm not holding it against him. I want him to grow and become the best person he can be. He's already an incredible person, but he's got to get stronger and a little less selfish with what he wants in a relationship. Apparently anything I said that I needed out of him was me being selfish and cruel, and trying to upset him...Uh....no...it's called communication. If he could have spoken more instead of pushing it all down and only accepting his solutions and needs, things would have been MUCH different....But whatever, I need to stop venting about this. My point was that we both made each other unhappy towards the end, and WHY WOULD I WANT THAT BACK?! Never! I only tried talking to him to preserve some degree of friendship, because that seemed to be what we both wanted when we ended it. We both said that we couldn't not see at least a friendship. But apparently me sticking to that meant that I wanted to get back with him. Sorry guy, but I kinda fell hard for someone else not long after we ended it. I'm actually totally over you, and now (still) getting over someone who was never even mine. Haha that's so sad, but you can't fight the feelings of the heart. Shit comes flying out of nowhere and smacks you in the face, and it's nearly never with good timing.
I still want to straighten my pig headed ex out, because the dude has a new girlfriend and I don't want her hating me over nothing. I want to meet her and get along with her, and be able to hang out with that whole group. I knew them all before my ex anyways! Plus, I don't need any chicks thinking that I want their man. I'm no threat to anyone. I respect others' relationships, because I want mine to be respected as well.
Sorry, but I take what I want, so if I don't have it, I don't want it. BIATCH!
Oh, I also saw an ex friend (last night) who talked mad shit about me, to me in a 3 hour text argument a few months ago. We "resolved" it...I just wanted to make sure my friend's birthday would go smoothly and I didn't need any fights. So I pulled him outside and we talked about it, but he never apologized for saying such hurtful things to me. He just made excuses. I'm not going to unblock him from my facebook, nor will I be hanging out with him. Cunt doesn't deserve my time, even if I ever become a loser who shoots up in the corner of her bare room bc she sold all her shit for that last needle's worth. I'll still be too good for that twat.
WOO!
I saw my ex last night at a mutual friend's birthday. Dude also has been sh*t talking me apparently, saying that I carve attention (honestly, who doesn't to some degree??) and pity. Fuck that, I don't need anyone's pity. Just your money and food!
He also said that I wanted him back. No offense dude...but I didn't want you back at all. Sure, I missed the good times we had because I loved you more than anything. The first year of our relationship was filled with me thinking about him allllll the time, and loving almost every moment. But in the end, he was way too sensitive, and I'm a bit of a harsh girl. Unfortunately true. So I actually initiated the relationship ending conversation, and we mutually went our separate ways. I made him make the final decision though, because I knew the answer and the solution would be to end it, but I needed him to stand up and say it himself. He was pretty insecure with everything about himself, so coddling him did nothing but hurt us both. He's still young and very immature, but I'm not holding it against him. I want him to grow and become the best person he can be. He's already an incredible person, but he's got to get stronger and a little less selfish with what he wants in a relationship. Apparently anything I said that I needed out of him was me being selfish and cruel, and trying to upset him...Uh....no...it's called communication. If he could have spoken more instead of pushing it all down and only accepting his solutions and needs, things would have been MUCH different....But whatever, I need to stop venting about this. My point was that we both made each other unhappy towards the end, and WHY WOULD I WANT THAT BACK?! Never! I only tried talking to him to preserve some degree of friendship, because that seemed to be what we both wanted when we ended it. We both said that we couldn't not see at least a friendship. But apparently me sticking to that meant that I wanted to get back with him. Sorry guy, but I kinda fell hard for someone else not long after we ended it. I'm actually totally over you, and now (still) getting over someone who was never even mine. Haha that's so sad, but you can't fight the feelings of the heart. Shit comes flying out of nowhere and smacks you in the face, and it's nearly never with good timing.
I still want to straighten my pig headed ex out, because the dude has a new girlfriend and I don't want her hating me over nothing. I want to meet her and get along with her, and be able to hang out with that whole group. I knew them all before my ex anyways! Plus, I don't need any chicks thinking that I want their man. I'm no threat to anyone. I respect others' relationships, because I want mine to be respected as well.
Sorry, but I take what I want, so if I don't have it, I don't want it. BIATCH!
Oh, I also saw an ex friend (last night) who talked mad shit about me, to me in a 3 hour text argument a few months ago. We "resolved" it...I just wanted to make sure my friend's birthday would go smoothly and I didn't need any fights. So I pulled him outside and we talked about it, but he never apologized for saying such hurtful things to me. He just made excuses. I'm not going to unblock him from my facebook, nor will I be hanging out with him. Cunt doesn't deserve my time, even if I ever become a loser who shoots up in the corner of her bare room bc she sold all her shit for that last needle's worth. I'll still be too good for that twat.
WOO!
franie:
Damn, you gotta get those folks out of your life!