xxjcblackheartxx

well nothing much is happening still enjoying pure laziness in the form of hours of PS3 and lots of sex ......
this party continues until jan 19

So i have been out in about doing the Xmas bullshit....i am somewhat used to being back home so far.... still surreal though....there are some advantages to being deployed even though there finate...hmm ohh well
ohh to play fall out

so last night i took my squad out too the strip club...my wife is out of town so i figure i'll cut loose a lil bit...since i was DD i could'nt do anything fun but tonight this will change i am finally going to drink and i have'nt in like 12 months ohh boy the craziness

i am in germany i really hate these fucking kezboards anzway iam verz close to finallz being home i am excited

soon i will be among normal society god the beer i can not wait

i have less than 48 hours til i am out of this fucking place ....all i want now is a time traveling device so that i may skip Kuwait city and go home.....alas such a device does not exsist....i can't wait until i am enveloped in a beer Coma with my wife at my side

I am again dead inside but for a time...i am a clean slate..hopefully i can write the book of life and not my epitaph in the coming months...

KIA MSG Davis 25 Nov, 08

this guy was 4 months from retirement.....he was a good guy and a Damn good NCO

makes me rethink my career....there was a time when i did'nt care if i lived...
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feeling better hopefully time will go by faster........

i Hate myself for hating myself...in my emotional turmoil i seemed to have alleniated even my wife...i hate myself for not being strong enough for her nor to support myself....i wish my life would sometime just end....when i can't protect the ones i love what good am i to the world...i feel like am being dismemebered from the inside ....i can't stand this anymore..my heart...
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I feel that the issues me and my wife are facing now are too personal to even share here....i just hope I can become strong enough to be her emotional rock in this time...

i can't help but hate myself for being here instead of there for her when she needed me the most

Back in Iraq and fucking hating it more than ever...god i can't wait for this country to implode
i miss my wife more than i have ever missed someone in my whole life.....
we are trying to get past some things that just seem immovable...i think together we will be able to get past this seemingly immovable obstacle.....
lately i have been so depressed and...
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I have only 14 hours left with my wife....i miss my wife already and i have'nt left yet...i had how the military does this to you....you get comfortalble and it's right back to the bullshit of Iraq....for reasons I don't even want to name outside of my devotion and love for my wife....i just don't want to leave her alone again....

I can't wait until...
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well its been awhile at least for me....i really dont have to time to blog properly...me and my wife are doing fine some pretty horrible circumstances....led me to an extension on my leave....but i will take this time to enjoy being with my wife a lil bit more....i got tons of new ink....and i am very fucking happy to have actually beared witness to Barack...
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