xanderj

I have been hating Jersey ever since I came here, but this weekend changed that. Saturday I was pulled over at 1 in the afternoon in a busy downtown area in Red Bank for a suspected DUI. I hadn't had a drink in 12 hours; all that happened was I had dropped my iPod and when I reached for it I swerved a little. The officer gave me the sobriety test in front of about 40 or 50 people who had probably stopped to watch thinking, "This is better than COPS." When I passed the sobriety test I got a round of applause from all the people. Later that day I went to the mall and overheard a guy trying to convince his friend to go out that night. This was what their conversation was word for word. Guy 1- "Dude, you should come out cause she has some hot friends. One is a brunette, there's a blonde, and I think she has a cute Asian friend." Guy 2- "What is this? Build-a-Bear? I don't fucking care what she looks like as long as she's breathing!" Jersey standards. . .amazing. That was an awesome Saturday. The best incident was Sunday night. I went to the grocery store to do some shopping when I heard the sounds of someone running, a cart go flying by at high speed, and a high pitched "WWWWEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!" I of course thought to myself, "I gotta follow that." So I went into the next aisle and there was a 70 or 80 year old man flying around on a grocery cart like a little kid; he looked like a little wrinkly ball of pure joy. The best part was when the manager walked up and yelled, "Hey, I've told you before!" Jersey maybe you don't suck so bad after all.