xalicex

ok.....so.....here goes.........

the long walk home


well...it started cos i wanted to go home from work and i said to my mum i might as well walk her dog. he is a greyhound collie cross so he has a lot of energy. he comes to work with us cos other wise he eats like everything at her house.....cds.....painkillers...shoes......books.....dvds....u name it...its been in his mouth. in fact hes a foul creature...hes eats cat shit...in fact...shit of all varietys...urgh!! but i love the fucker.....hes got a relaly good heart. very friendly just a bit gross.
so.........steve and my mum were joking....cos i hate picking up the shit...hence why i dont have a dog... i said i hope he waits till we get to this little snicket thing so i perhaps could leave it....i know i know...naughty.
so.......steves like...."i bet hell take a massive dump right in front of someone and uve no choice"......oh if only i knew what was coming. i wouldve left the damn dog.
so off we go......i got poo bags just in case. and he starts goina little crazy on the grass. so i walk him on the footpath.....but each time his feet go on the grass he goes mad....and tried to pull away.
then he start to crouch like hes having a turd and i look acros the road and there this stupid old biddy watching me....in disgust...already making her mind up that im gonna lesave it.
so i got out my poo bag looked........no shit......phantom turd!
so i had to look more than i needed to cos hs was still staring at me. and then i walk off. all of a sudden.....jimi( the dog) decides fuck this and somehow breask away from me....im stood there with the lead in my hand and hes running about mocking me.....have u ever seen a greyhound run? well.....warpspeed i tell ya....across the road with out looking....cars were slamming on tyhe breaks....horns beeping people stopping in there tracks and lookin at me with a" control ur dog" look. i felt like a fool.....i was shouting at him sternly cos i was pissed off and then i was sayin his name all friendly like tryin to entice him....he was having none of it.
he was just runnnin around in circles....i swear he was laughing.so i try to lead him up towards some houses and off the main road......and this builder started laughing at me....great.
just as i had almost giving and left the bloody dog......this little old man pulled up in his little old car outside hi alittle old house bless him.....
jimi must have thought the samecos he decided to bless him witha turd right on his lawn right in front of him.
i know what ur al thinking.....but trust me.....it can get worse...and it did.
i pulled him off the lawn and he shat as he went....he got some on the road too.
the man came along and said his little voice..." hes too fast for u love"
i smile....and can tell that im bright red.....
he then walks in front of me in the direction of his door...............................................................................................................................




and walks in the big pile of shit thats in the road!!!!

thank god he was soo old cos i dont think he noticed....i grabbed the poo up on the lawn with the poo bag and ran!! literally!!!!


needless to say ... i swore at the dog all the way home.....thats and hour of verbal beating.

THE END