wrigley

i hate dieting. but, it is a necessary evil for me. i don't even think it's me hating dieting, so much as me loving food way too much.

i planted lots of flowers today in pots on our balcony. it looks pretty and happy now. that makes me smile. today is spring cleaning day. i feel like i've been cleaning my room for like 228928310...
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i think i'm nothing more than a nuerotic bitch.

man, i eat entirely too much food.

also, i think michael is quickly losing interest because i've been so cranky and insecure lately. i need to get that under control, but it's hard when he doesn't talk to me and never wants to see me. i'm not sure what i'm going to do. i'm trying to remain calm so things can be cool again, but...
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dear god, so drunk last night. i think i might still be drunk, i'm not sure. next year jessica and i are living with the owner's son of the bar we always go to, so his dad just gives us pitchers of stuff, and last night he kept giving up pitchers of red bull and vodka. not really a drink you should consume by the...
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ah, and school is over....until summer session II starts.

congratulate me on writing 2 brilliant essays for my history 311 final that i didn't really study all that much for.

apparently i'm not as dumb as i thought.

so i'm not sure what to do now that friends and the oc are gone. i feel lost.

last night i went out instead of studying. seems to have been a good plan since i'm about done studying for my final anyway.

i was discussing pregnancy tests with my friend abbey and when she was discussing what happens for each of the results i was...
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you know what sucks,

when you find someone you like being around so much that it's not even just good sex anymore, it's just wanting them to be around.

and the realization that you don't want other guys to hit on you, cute or not. it just holds no interest.

and feeling like no matter what you could never be good enough for this person...
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yesterday i felt really good.

today i feel really shitty. i feel like i've been working on stuff non-stop and i'm just not getting anything done.

also, i'm convinced people just patronize me. i don't know, i don't even want to talk about it, so i don't know why i bothered writing it down.

bah. i don't know why i'm up right now. oh yeah, it's because i think i might still be drunk. jessica's little sister and some of her friends came down last night so we took them to a frat party. hilarity all around. the young'ns ended up dancing on tables, jessica and i ended up in the hot tub in our underwear, it was pretty...
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sometimes i go into the bathtub and i fill it all the way up with hot water and then i just sink down until i'm all the way under and i see how long i can stay under after i lose all my air.

i'm totally like brittney spears in the everytime video. haha.

i don't know, i think i might be weird but it's...
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so weird evening.

i'm sitting at my computer just hanging out, and of course i'm wearing nothing but a pair of underwear because that's just how i sit around in my room. and i hear this knock at the door to our apartment, so i assume it's my roommate Tiff's boyfriend because that's the only person that really comes over here. so i just stay...
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my room seems girly again, i think it's just because i cleaned it so my bed is comfy again and there are tons of pillows and i have a pink teddy bear that smells like roses on it.

i feel girly today, i'm not sure i like it. when i feel girly it mostly just means i want to be held and adored and get...
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