Intrusive thoughts?

3

So, I guess I'm not done with these thoughts. We were talking earlier about getting older, myself, my father, and my brother. My dad was talking about how he was sure he wasn't going to make it to 80 or 90 years old. I said I wasn't even going to make it to 40, to which he replied, 'I used to say that too.'

I...
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wolfwood1203:
@cerebus666 It's okay. There was no pressure from you. I just realized you were right and that I need to try to make myself respond more.
cerebus666:
Glad to read this @wolfwood1203 👍! Always remember James Stewart in "It's a wonderful life". In time of his greatest need, when he thought that all is lost and he wanted to end his life, all his friends were there to help him! Reach out and the community will be there for you!

Don't know what to do.

6

I need help. I think I've finally hit a point with my mental health that I can no longer handle this on my own. No resources at hand to accomplish this though. I'm lost again. I really just need someone to talk to. But I can't talk to family, they don't understand (sounds cliche, I know). It doesn't help that to the people who know...
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inkedodie:
Here is the mental health group here.  https://www.suicidegirls.com/groups/mental-health-outlet/
inkedodie:
It is a closed group, so only limited people can see it. There are people there you can meet that will understand your feelings. We each have our own struggles, but the feeling is the same. I know my shadow tells me I’m a bother, but I know I’m not. And neither are you. We fear the worst, but people naturally want to help. If someone trips in front of you, you instinctively reach out a helping hand. Mental health isn’t really that much different. Many people also hide their struggles, but will see similarities in you. Reach out your hand, you will be surprised how many people are there to help you up. The few that won’t, you are better off without them.

Might be something.

11

Been doing some research. I've noticed some things in my introspection that made me suspect there might be an undiagnosed mental... thing. I don't know. The more I think about it, and the more I research, it's been making more and more sense. And a questionnaire on an mental health site kind of confirms my suspicions. Not that I'm likely to get a formal diagnosis...
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So, I'm still alive...

9

COVID sucked, but it wasn't as bad as I thought it might be. Was feeling bad for about a week, but never too bad.

Honestly, I'm just lucky that I spent the last 7 months improving my health. A bit of exercise and better eating helped me drop under 240 for the first time in probably 15 years. 60 pounds ago, COVID might have hit...
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FML

6

For two years, I've been as careful as possible. Two goddamn years I avoided this shit. I mean, you don't understand... I mask, of course, but I wear different clothes when I leave the house and change when I get home. I wash my hands constantly, especially after touching the front door. I'm careful.

Guess what the family got for Thanksgiving? That's right folks, we...
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libris:
Damn, I hope you feel better soon!

Dreams

7

I've been, for the last couple of nights, having dreams that have me thinking. There are three that stand out. The first involved me being in the ocean. But on a boat or something, but in the water, deep down. I don't know if you read my blog about thalassophobia, but yeah, I'm not a fan of the ocean that way. The second was probably...
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Pictures suck...

12

I was looking through pictures on my phone, mostly missing my cat, when I stumbled across a picture of myself from last year. I was kind of shocked, so I had to take a recent version to compare. I know that the scale tells me I'm losing weight (60 pounds), but I hadn't seen it before. Now, goddamn... Yes, I'm still fat. I'm working on...
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amaiiran:
🥰
wolfwood1203:
@fredhincanada Thanks

Your thoughts?

4

Okay, so I'm a horror fan. I love watching scary movies, of most types. But there was a time period after the original Saw came out where the torture porn genre became a thing. I hate that kind of movie. Gore for gore's sake is unentertaining to me. And slasher films tend to bore me. I know, I know... two things a lot of horror...
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Halloween

10

A few years ago my brother and his kids moved back into the house with us. I felt bad for my nieces and nephews, because their mom left them, and their grandma (my mom) left them. They were missing out on some of the things I remembered growing up enjoying. Like baking Halloween cookies. So, I looked up some recipes and we started baking. The...
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headshot:
looks delicious !
libris:
They look great!

Tuesday

10

Friend I haven't seen in a while gave me this.

No cream, no sugar, just the nectar of the gods.

So, I've gotten to see a friend of mine for the first time in a couple years. He's got a wife and two kids, and doesn't get out much anymore. We still talk all the time, just don't get to hang out much. It was
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libris:
I'm sure your friendship is gift enough!  How is that coffee btw?
wolfwood1203:
@libris Well, I'm a big fan of coffee, so I love it. It's got a strong enough flavor that I can drink it black. So, if you like the flavor of coffee more than the flavor of creamer, it's good.
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