Movie.

10

Thanks to the wonders of Xanax, tonight I went to the movies for the first time in 4 years. The last movie I went to see was Joker, pre-pandemic. I nearly got up and ran out of the theater for that one. Anxiety is fun that way.

But I had to try again, because I've always been a big fan of the Evil Dead series....
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wolfwood1203:
@headshot @bookcouple @fredhincanada Thanks. I guess I didn't really think about it like that. But I guess it's a good step, getting out to the theater. Even if I did have to take a Xanax...
wolfwood1203:
@narublu It was pretty good. A bit gory, so not for the squeamish, but I enjoyed it. I definitely prefer watching at home though.

I know they mean well...

10

But goddamn it, why do people react the way that they do?

Okay, so if you read my blogs, you might remember that I strongly suspected that I am an undiagnosed autistic. I've taken a few tests on embrace autism: the Autism Quotient, the RAADS-R, and the CAT-Q. Based on the results, I no longer suspect. Now I know that I'm an undiagnosed autistic. Yes,...
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samihain:
Self diagnosis is valid, it's very hard to get diagnosed and it took a lot of research and stress before I found someone who could diagnose me (at the age of 35). Don't worry about what others say, most of the time they mean well and are just uninformed. I usually use that as an opportunity to educate them. Late diagnosed autistics often have trouble unmasking, myself included, so try to be patient and understanding of yourself. 😊
wolfwood1203:
@samihain I wondered why there was such a pushback against autism, until I learned that it's a fairly new diagnosis (the first case diagnosed was about 80-90 years ago). I'm still trying to figure a lot of stuff out, so I'm not too mad at family and friends reacting that way. Anyway, thank you for that, your reassurances, I mean. It's helpful to hear someone who knows what I'm feeling tell me that it's valid. I'll do my best to be patient with myself.

Saturday

7

I really hate the way that I am. I'm in the middle of an... anxiety attack? some other kind of mental breakdown? I don't fucking know what to call it. I'm not well at the moment. I'm rocking back and forth and wringing my hands together so much they're turning red. I just can't function. I need help, I need to talk to someone. But...
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wolfwood1203:
@fredhincanada @cerebus666 Thanks, I appreciate it. Yesterday was just a bad day I guess.
fredhincanada:
We all have bad days, for sure.  But we're here.  Reach out to us, my friend.  At least we can let you vent against us.

Almost out of time.

6

Damn. Looks like I'm on my last month here. Can't afford to stick around, and no idea when I'll have the money to rejoin. But I suppose it had to end sooner or later.

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wolfwood1203:
@ali @nerestorm no idea when I'll be able to come back, unfortunately.
wolfwood1203:
@fredhincanada Sadly, I have to. My broke ass can't afford it.

Concert time!

12

Alright, so, I started thinking about this about… 5 or 6 hours ago. Tonight was my first trip back into the 'wild' since before the pandemic. I've avoided large crowds for a good three years now. So, of course, my anxiety was in overdrive. It's a familiar feeling really. But at the same time, it's not a feeling that's easy to describe. My body starts...
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wolfwood1203:
@cerebus666 My back begs to differ... 😂
cerebus666:
Ignore it @wolfwood1203 😁😂!

It lives

8

I'm not allowed to get sick anymore. I've been dealing with a particularly nasty cold over the last week. I survived, and no, it wasn't covid. But it was bad enough that my family wouldn't let me cook. Which in turn meant fast food all week. These people are hopeless...

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cerebus666:
Hope you're well now 👍💪 and can stop eating only fast food 😃😃!
wolfwood1203:
@cerebus666 Yeah, thanks, I'm doing a lot better now. And I got to cook some sesame ginger chicken and white rice for dinner, so it's all good.

Anyone?

12

Anyone care for a blueberry muffin? Fresh out of the oven. I got bored, we had blueberries, the rest is obvious.

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unita:
oh yes i want to try🤤🤤
wolfwood1203:
@unita And I'd be more than happy to make them for you.

I can't explain this...

10

But I just spent a good hour to two hours playing Power Wash Simulator. It was... fun. Why was that so enjoyable? What weird itch in my brain does that scratch? Why am I going to keep playing it? I am going keep playing it, by the way. I just zoned out for an hour or so and power washed.

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headshot:
I just watched a gameplay video. I liked. It's strange to say, but I would play this game.
wolfwood1203:
@headshot Right? It really seems like a weird game to enjoy.

About a year later.

8

Last February I had to make a tough choice. Should I pick up Horizon Forbidden West, the sequel to a game I really liked? Or should I pick up Elden Ring, a game I wasn't initially interested in? I picked Elden Ring, and 400+ hours later, I don't regret that decision. But for the last 3 weeks, I've finally been able to pick up and...
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cerebus666:
Great to read, that you're making progress and don't let yourself down, even if something doesn't go the way you planned it 👍👍💪💪!
wolfwood1203:
@cerebus666 Well, it's a constant struggle. But I'm learning as I go. There's always going to be ups and downs after all.

Monday

6

Seriously, 01/23, always feels like I'm giving a fake birthday. What's that? Shameless birthday plug? Yeah. I did it. Birthdays kind of run different these days. I guess I've done something right helping out with my nephews and nieces. They seem to want to celebrate. And my nephew got me a present, which I wish he hadn't, but I really appreciate. Kind of weird, but...
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cerebus666:
😁😀👍👍💪
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