I'm old. Today I'm officially closer to 40 than I am to 30. I'm not fan of birthdays. Too much disappointment over the years, I've learned not to place too much importance on them. But something about this one just... sucks.
I'm probably letting anxiety win the day again. I know that it's dumb, and that I shouldn't compare myself to other people. But when I sit back and look at my life, at my age, I can't help but feel like I've fallen short. Everyone I know is in a career, starting families, all that jazz. But I'm still lost, floundering in the dark like a petulant child who's too stubborn or too stupid to find his way out.
I considered not making it to 36. It's been that kind of month. Hell, it's been those kind of years. But, I decided to keep moving forward instead. I don't know what keeps making that decision for me, but I'm still here.
I need to stop feeling sorry for myself and start writing again. I always feel better when I do.
Maybe I'll just binge some more anime instead.
