So, I've been very candid about my situation. If you read my nonsensical ravings, you know about my failures in life, and what I'm doing with my life now.
I had, for a surprising amount of time, a few good friends in my life. But, you know how life works. They moved, got jobs, started lives, etc. We kept in touch, and saw each other once a year. Then covid happened. And I haven't heard anything from them in years now.
Today, out of the fucking blue, I get texts from two of them. Both in town, or going to in town, and want to catch up. The last time we really spoke, I had gotten my masters degree finished, and was heading to DC with a friend in search of work.
Now I'm facing a lot of anxiety and stress, because these are people who I haven't really talked to since I was still on track to do something with my life. What do you say to people like that? How do I face my past and tell them what a failure I've become?
I had to avoid doing something tonight with one of them because they wanted to go to the bar. With spikes in covid cases, and the new variant, there's no way I'm going somewhere like that. But I can't get it of tomorrow, because he wants to meet at his grandma's house.
God... I've become such a fucking recluse.
