Self pity rant ahead.
You were warned.
I know I'm not the only one this happens to. I know that people have lives, and don't (or can't) always respond to messages. And I know that it's not personal, most of the time. But it still starts to make you wonder, 'why always me?'
I've seen how most people are with their phones, constantly in their hands or at least within reach. I've seen how quickly they respond to other people. So, why is it so easy to leave me hanging? Why don't I deserve a response? Am I that bad to talk to?
And then there's the issue of, if I don't initiate the conversation, I won't hear from people. That one hurts. It implies that I'm never on anyone's mind, I'm not the person people think about at any point in time. Until they need something, of course. And by that point, I'm so desperate for some kind of human connection, that I end up helping with whatever the problem is. And if course, hating myself for it later.
I wish I had an answer for this. I wish I had some way to end this and provide closure to anyone who bothers to read this. But if I did, I probably wouldn't be writing this in the first place.
