wolfangel

Can't sleep. Should not have had that nap today. But I was so bored. Nothing to do but sleep. Or think about her. And now I can't sleep or stop thinking about her.

We are going Xmas shopping today.

Fuck, I am screwed. Unfortunately it is purely psychological.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Well, that sucked balls...

I just quit my job. Effective immediately.

We will see how long it lasts.

I went in this morning, cleaned out my locker, picked up my bike, and then left my uniform, keys, and letter in the back office. I figure if I do not pick up the phone for the next week, then I really have quit.

Next step, sell the house. I will...
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10 laps on the indoor track (1 lap = 256m)
20 minutes on the upright bike
500 m in the pool

It is a beginning.

Bollocks!

Nothing new. Still enamoured. She now has a boyfriend though. She thinks. Sounds like I am better off being a friend--too much disdain directed at her love interests. Still makes my malaise rise unbidden.

The boss is back from her two weeks holidays soon. I am gonna ask if I can take some "mental health" days. I need to go somewhere... different. Time to...
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Time for some goals, I have been drifting the last few months.

And then she says something sweet, and your heart is lifted.

Once a thought infects your mind it is so hard to remove it. Especially when you try to. So starts the downward spiral.

"love" is a mind game...

That is what she wrote in her note to me today.

whatever

Sometimes you just have to make a leap of faith. Spending your time trying to define love is futile... it is meant to be lived not labelled.

Samantha and I went and saw Garden State on Saturday. Is that ironic? Or is there another literary description?

I have a crush on her.

She has a crush on me.

What to do, what to do...