I bought some fish yesterday, four male guppies. They ain't dead yet! Find out if the can last at least a tank cycle.
Did some painting in one of my bedrooms last week.
It is still a work in progress. Translation: I might be done in the fall. Actually, I am going to try a rent out a room, so the deadline is... end of the month!
One of the reasons I need to rent out the room is my meagre funds. My allusions to unemployment were premature--I am only working weekends for the next few months. This began a couple weeks ago, and so far the respite has been enjoyable.
Another reason for an expansion of income potential is the fact that I have been spending way too much money the last few weeks.
Whatelse?
I would say this was the worst day ever, but that is too dramatic and also untrue.
I worked with Sam today. She is in a nasty mood lately. Not all due to me, but a month and a half ago she would brighten visibly in my presence.
What changed?
Was it all pretense to begin with, or did knowledge and exposure reveal my unredeeming qualities--that I am unloveable?
She says my attitude sucks lately. I know what changed for me. When I realized that she did not... want me.
"I don't like your attitude."
"Get over it."
I feel so shallow
Live your life.
I just sent her four text messages. I am not sure if that will piss her off even more, or seem endearing. Can you say stalker! I figure give her a week to mellow out. No calls, no visits to the store, no text messages.
It will be interesting to see if she calls me. She tends to go through spells of ignoring someone, and then overwhelming you with her attention.
Be prepared to be ignored.
La whatever. At least I got a sharp knife now.
This could be good
but it will feel so bad.
I thought she was the antidote
but turned out she was the disease
So a SAM FREE WEEK. What to do?
Well after my double shift tomorrow I have five days off. The major tasks are finish the bedroom reno, and get a consistent workout regime started.
My races are not getting any further away, and I have no base built up at all.
TWENTY-TWO WEEKS UNTIL COUER D'ALENE!
THIRTY-ONE WEEKS UNTIL PENTICTON!
Sometimes perspective is in order. I have probably spent more time with that luminous lady in the past three months than with any single person in any two year period since university. Yet I bemoan the time apart, and clamour for a return to the sweet infatuation we initially had.
Lately she seems to display so much balance and restraint around me, but then I hear what she is going through and doing elsewhere and I flinch. So much drama and despair.
Being content being bored together--that is the simple definition of love I have settled on. Reality is more complex.
Too bad she is not ready to be bored--or too settle for boredom anyway.
She asked me last night if I ever felt like an outcast in social settings and groups. My lame answer--I feel separate, but not an outcast.
Thinking on it, I consider being an outcast assumes you were part of something to begin with, then banished. Semantics, I know. But that is my circumstance--feeling like I have NEVER belonged in the first place.
la whatever
later
Did some painting in one of my bedrooms last week.
It is still a work in progress. Translation: I might be done in the fall. Actually, I am going to try a rent out a room, so the deadline is... end of the month!
One of the reasons I need to rent out the room is my meagre funds. My allusions to unemployment were premature--I am only working weekends for the next few months. This began a couple weeks ago, and so far the respite has been enjoyable.
Another reason for an expansion of income potential is the fact that I have been spending way too much money the last few weeks.
Whatelse?
I would say this was the worst day ever, but that is too dramatic and also untrue.
I worked with Sam today. She is in a nasty mood lately. Not all due to me, but a month and a half ago she would brighten visibly in my presence.
What changed?
Was it all pretense to begin with, or did knowledge and exposure reveal my unredeeming qualities--that I am unloveable?
She says my attitude sucks lately. I know what changed for me. When I realized that she did not... want me.
"I don't like your attitude."
"Get over it."
I feel so shallow
Live your life.
I just sent her four text messages. I am not sure if that will piss her off even more, or seem endearing. Can you say stalker! I figure give her a week to mellow out. No calls, no visits to the store, no text messages.
It will be interesting to see if she calls me. She tends to go through spells of ignoring someone, and then overwhelming you with her attention.
Be prepared to be ignored.
La whatever. At least I got a sharp knife now.
This could be good
but it will feel so bad.
I thought she was the antidote
but turned out she was the disease
So a SAM FREE WEEK. What to do?
Well after my double shift tomorrow I have five days off. The major tasks are finish the bedroom reno, and get a consistent workout regime started.
My races are not getting any further away, and I have no base built up at all.
TWENTY-TWO WEEKS UNTIL COUER D'ALENE!
THIRTY-ONE WEEKS UNTIL PENTICTON!
Sometimes perspective is in order. I have probably spent more time with that luminous lady in the past three months than with any single person in any two year period since university. Yet I bemoan the time apart, and clamour for a return to the sweet infatuation we initially had.
Lately she seems to display so much balance and restraint around me, but then I hear what she is going through and doing elsewhere and I flinch. So much drama and despair.
Being content being bored together--that is the simple definition of love I have settled on. Reality is more complex.
Too bad she is not ready to be bored--or too settle for boredom anyway.
She asked me last night if I ever felt like an outcast in social settings and groups. My lame answer--I feel separate, but not an outcast.
Thinking on it, I consider being an outcast assumes you were part of something to begin with, then banished. Semantics, I know. But that is my circumstance--feeling like I have NEVER belonged in the first place.
la whatever
later