wolfangel

I just opened a smirnoff ice. My first drink in near a week. This sickness has deadened my senses, and I am not savouring the swigs. It is actually quite gross.

Have not smoked in six days--another side effect of the sickness. Every couple of years I will start up smoking--buying a pouch of Drum tobacco every couple of weeks. It usually last until I have a really harsh night out or get sick. Can't handle smoking when the body is straining.

I started smoking to take smoke breaks with Sam. How lame. She actually hugged me today. Because I drove her to the clinic to pick up morning after pills.

It sucks knowing someone is not "right" for you, but still not able to stop thinking about them. At least a few weeks ago I had her warm regard. Now that has faded. Causality and correlation are such fickle constructs. Was I confident because she liked me, or she liked me because I was confident? And now that disdain is par for the course, does that give rise to my insecurities, or vice versa?

Whatever.

I need to find a home. Or make one out of where I am at now. Home is a state of mind. Lately my mind has been blank. I was considering a change of locale as a shock to the system (there is a more concise phrase for that?).

Time to vacuum!