wizard0

These insults are from an era before the English language got boiled down to 4-letter words. Insults then, had some class!

1. "I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play;

Bring a friend, if you have one."

George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill.

"Cannot possibly attend first night, I will attend the second...If there is one."

- Winston Churchill, in response.

2. A member of Parliament to Disraeli: "Sir, you will either die on the gallows, or of some unspeakable disease."

· "That depends, Sir," said Disraeli, "whether I embrace your policies or your mistress."

3. "He had delusions of adequacy." - Walter Kerr

4. "I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure."

- Clarence Darrow

5. "He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary."

- William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway).

6."Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it."

- Moses Hadas

7. "I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it."

- Mark Twain

8. "He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.."

- Oscar Wilde

9. "I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here."

- Stephen Bishop

10."He is a self-made man and worships his creator."

- John Bright

11. "I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial."

- Irvin S. Cobb

12. "He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others."

- Samuel Johnson

13. "He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up."

- Paul Keating

14. "In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily."

- Charles, Count Talleyrand

15. "He loves nature in spite of what it did to him."

- Forrest Tucker

16. "Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?"

- Mark Twain

17. "His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork."

- Mae West

18. "Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go."

- Oscar Wilde

19. "He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts... For support rather than illumination."

- Andrew Lang (1844-1912)

20. "He has Van Gogh's ear for music."

- Billy Wilder

21. "I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it."

- Groucho Marx.

22."He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire."

- Winston Churchill