Login
Forgot Password?

OR

Login with Google Login with Twitter Login with Facebook
  • Join
  • Profiles
  • Groups
  • SuicideGirls
  • Photos
  • Videos
  • Shop
Vital Stats

wilwheaton

Los Angeles

Member Since 2005

Followers 4396 Following 803

  • Everything
  • Photos
  • Video
  • Blogs
  • Groups
  • From Others

It's going to be so terrible, and it's gonna be so great.

Jan 21, 2020
20
  • Facebook
  • Tweet
  • Email

I watched this wonderfully terrible B-movie from 1989 on MST3K last night, and it was surprisingly, counter-intuitively, inspiring to me.

I love these Corman movies. They are terrible, but they are an essential part of the entertainment industry, if for no other reason than the opportunity they present for producers, writers, directors, actors, and crew to get experience when there aren't tens of millions of dollars at stake. They give actors who, like me when I did shitty pieces of shit Deep Core 2000 and Python, are struggling to find A-list work, but still want or need to perform, or to express our artistic selves.

Most of these movies are totally forgotten about five minutes after they are released. Some go on to become cult classics, many of them get riffed by MST3K and all of its offshoots. They are crap, but they are IMPORTANT crap, because they are part of the ecosystem of crap that powers this company town I live in.

These movies all have a certain look to them. The lighting is flat, the shots are always wide and staged weirdly, so they only have to film one angle, instead of setting up twice for close ups or over-the-shoulder shots. The color is a little off, the costumes are a little cheap, the sets look like cardboard. There is ALWAYS stock footage that doesn't match the film grain. There is pointless nudity, because of course there is. The blood is way too red, and kind of looks like paint, because it is. There's one explosion, because that's all they could afford.

I love it. I want to make a movie like that, inspired by the intention behind Black Dynamite. Yeah, an outrageously bad, super (fake) bloody, you-can-see-the-wires horror movie that feels like something you found in the dollar bin at the video store in 1987. We'll shoot on VHS, in Bronson Cave, and the old LA Zoo. It's gonna be a post-apocalyptic zombie story, where the protagonists all wear costumes that are knocked off from The Road Warrior. It will have just enough pointless nudity to put a censored still on the box, which will get horny teenagers to rent it. The story is a by-the-numbers five hander set in a bunker, to save money on sets. The characters are all paper-thin archetypes. It's probably a shameless rip off of Day of the Dead, with some twist that we'll tack on to convince ourselves we're making something original. I'll be the aging, once-promising actor who the producers can get on the cheap, and I'll be surrounded by actors who are too good for the movie, because smart low budget filmmakers always fill out their cast with extremely talented performers who are looking for experience and want to build their resumes.

It's going to be so terrible, and it's gonna be so great.

littlejohn22:
These movies are important and they gave so much experience to those that need it to become better film makers. Great blog and great points
Jan 22, 2020

More Blogs

  • 07.21.23
    7

    the hungry hungry hippo

    I was playing Assassin's Creed: Origins last night (61 hours in, l…
  • 07.07.23
    4

    Still Just A Geek is a Hugo awards finalist

    Well, this is certainly unexpected. I thought making the New York T…
  • 06.08.23
    3

    ding dong the bitch is dead

    Pat Robertson walks past thousands of souls, smugly and full of pri…
  • 06.07.23
    3

    my secret garden

    This morning, while I walked through my garden, I saw a bee on one …
  • 05.19.23
    3

    Update on A Study of The Limits To The Acquisition of Polyhedral Gami…

    For as long as I can remember, I and my fellow tabletop gamers hav…
  • 05.11.23
    6

    there is no middle

    Remember how much fun it was to harmlessly TP your friends’ houses…
  • 04.26.23
    3

    Being cruel is so boring. It’s lazy. Anyone can be cruel. It takes re…

    I saw this in r/tumblr: There’s a new girl in my kindergarten cl…
  • 03.14.23
    7

    children are not property; they are people.

    About ten years ago, I did a YouTube thing for a friend of mine. I …
  • 02.19.23
    3

    with love and respect to senator john fetterman and his family

    Speaking as someone who lives with mental illness, who struggled an…
  • 02.10.23
    5

    in fifty years, i never once felt loved by my father the way i feel l…

    For most of last year, I worked on and promoted my New York Times …

We at SuicideGirls have been celebrating alternative pin-up girls for:

23
years
10
months
11
days
  • 5,509,826 fans
  • 41,393 fans
  • 10,327,617 followers
  • 4,598 SuicideGirls
  • 1,115,589 followers
  • 14,940,711 photos
  • 321,315 followers
  • 61,444,785 comments
  • Join
  • Profiles
  • Groups
  • Photos
  • Videos
  • Shop
  • Help
  • About
  • Press
  • LIVE

Legal/Tos | DMCA | Privacy Policy | 18 U.S.C. 2257 Record-Keeping Requirements Compliance Statement | Contact Us | Vendo Payment Support
©SuicideGirls 2001-2025

Press enter to search
Fast Hi-res

Click here to join & see it all...

Crop your photo