wilwheaton

I followed along with the LAKESIDE PATH chapter in an upcoming book that I have as a prerelease.

Okay, so the colors got muddy in the trees, but I'm super happy with the composition of yesterday's #BobRoss #painting.

There are a couple of huge mistakes in here that I turned into happy accidents, and used as an opportunity to practice, as well as overcome my emotional reaction to give up.

The rest of this may be triggering.

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I painted very emotionally today. By that, I mean that I let myself just *feel* the brush strokes, and I allowed myself the freedom to not be perfect. I figure if everything I've done in 46 years on this planet hasn't been enough for my dad to love me, this painting (or anything I make) being perfect or not probably won't matter, so I should just allow myself to create to the best of my ability, enjoy the process and experience, and not let imagined and remembered criticisms take away my right to love myself, or feel proud of what I do, even if it isn't the best that can be objectively done. It's the best I can do *at this moment* and I deeply loved the experience.

When I started, I just told myself, "This is supposed to be fun. You're learning how to use new tools to express yourself, not trying to win a contest you lost in the seventies." So this isn't the best canvas I've done since I started, but it is the one that's meant the most to me. I also leveled up my ability to make evergreens! The secret is to hold the fan brush level and just use the corner. Let the brush do the work, and don't try to shape the branches by tilting it. You also don't have to go as fast as Bob Ross (and you probably shouldn't, and *you* likely don't, because you weren't unconsciously comparing yourself to him with every brush strokes). I'm going to let this dry, and then go back with a few touches of color in the trees, and on the grass.

Then I think I'll try it again, and use the emotion and technical skills I have been developing while painting.