willdabeast

to paraphrase johnny cash, " i wish that i was stoned there's nothing like a sunday to make a man feel alone"

i'm haunted. the voice and lyrics of the lead singer of the band evanescence won't leave me alone. that woman is gifted.


almost got crushed between 2 rolls of paper at work wednesday. one weighed 3000 lbs the other 7000 lbs. i had slipped into a gap between to rolls the cut off a tag that was placed to far down.
the roll clamp operator had the roll raised up in preparation to lay it down on the floor. he didn't see me i didn't see him. when he dropped it into position i heard it hit the floor. i have been there for almost 14 years so i knew the sound and ,without looking back, stepped out of the way just as the rolls slammed together. i wasn't even shaken. he was though. ah what's a crushed spine between co-workers anyway.

if i survived my childhood only death himself can claim me


i mean guns, knives, my penchant for fire and explosives as a youngster, farm equipment have all failed so far.

the saddest thing i ever saw on the farm involved me , the hay mower ( a 6 ft open bladed device ) and some kittens we had. i was out cutting down the alfalfa
for baling when out of the corner of my eye i saw some shapes jumping out of the way of the mower. when i got back up to the barn it seems some kittens had followed their mother out into the field. she made it over the blade but the kittens we not so lucky. the blade didn't kill any outright but there were many mangled/ missng paws and tails. i felt so bad about it my stomach was in knots. i remember one kitten coming out of the barn to greet me, his front leg raised, his paw, hanging by a tendon, dragging in the dirt. he wasn't crying or upset at all just glad to see me. my dad later took the paw off the rest of the way.

that was 20 years ago and it still haunts me to this day.