wildseven

I just have to say, before sleep grabs my good mood away from me, that this has been the best new years eve/day that i can recall. I celebrated my new year talking to one of my best friends and with all the brilliant people in chat. I know that it's only a digital medium but it's become a big deal to me. I had the chance to experience a chatters meetup party through the wonders of chat. I would have given anything to join in with all the joyousness. You people are amazing. Seriously. Every new year i've had pales in comparison to this one. Thanks everyone. I wished happy new year to all the friends i could muster in one fell swoop. This was seriously the most fun i've had in 39 hours of not sleeping ever. Hell 39 hours of sleeping too. For the past two days i've been a happy, outgoing person. I've told people how i feel about them, embarrassment aside. I really think i've turned a small corner. The euphoria from the alchohol was replaced by the euphoria of sleeplessness. I coasted from one high to another. I'm sorry if i offended or weirded anyone out, but over new year's eve/day i've told people i think are lovely that i think they are lovely. Without this euphoria i wouldn't be able to. It's the nature of how i think. The idea of telling women these things terrifies me beyond belief, so i need some help to do that. Women make me very, very nervous, and i've never really learned how to get past that. I don't mean anything creepy by saying i think women are pretty. It's just expressing the undeniable fact that i think they're attractive. Even between friends i think it's necessary to clear the air sometimes. And i just realised something embarrassing i do. If i tell anyone that i think they're pretty, or that i'm interested in them, i always feel the need to state, matter-of-factly, that i'm not being creepy. But does that negate the non-creepiness of the statement? I don't know. But while my sleep-deprived brain was riding on a wave of ceratonin, i felt the need to tell beautiful women that i think they are beautiful. It's about time i unleashed the sexual me. Niceness has it's place, but there's no sense in hiding the other part. I mean, for instance, if somebody reveals themself on cam, what do you do?! Is saying: i think you have a fantastic body the right or wrong thing. I'm able to get across the intellectual, friendship, things-in-common aspect. But how do you bridge the gap between having things in common and wanting more than that? The mysteries of wooing a potential mate. The painful intricacies that some lucky people have managed to wade through. I hope i can at some stage. I love all my SG friends here. Thank you all very much for all you've given me. After my night of rest i'll probably go back to my old, dull self. I'm saying these things while i can. I love you all.

This year i vow many things. Before this year is out i will:
Have a tattoo
Have met up with at least one person from this site
Have overcome my personal fears/nervousness about myself
If possible, form a real relationship with a member of the opposite sex, not necessarily sexual