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here's a great one:

minutes after my death, i wish my head to be severed from my body, and immediately replaced with a bouquet of broccoli.
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well, that was ridiculous. i suppose i got what i wanted, but not really since i'm not making out with anyone right now, and instead typing this. at the very least, to count the blessings for the day: three more pages of introspection. wanted to write more of the dialogue story, but just couldn't do it.

recieved two useless phone calls today. one, from the...
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randumb_thought:
amen to every damn thing you said.
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well, the boy is now quite depressed. can't recall such an imbalance since the days of freshman year, but it certainly hurts just as bad. persistent doubts about my own place in the world (and certainly here in atlanta) keep invading my space. trying to fetch some kind of spin that won't make things so bleak, but each day's trivial failures make the outlook worse....
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chronology. last night was as follows, i think. vortex, lame party, corndogorama, porno video store, strip club, and irish whiskey. it was pretty funny to go with my friends - miles' girlfriend hadn't ever been, so we went at the drunken suggestion of miles and watched wes spend most of his money on overpriced drinks. i was somewhat amazed we didn't get kicked out on...
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well, well. today i got back from tallahassee. aside from the usual black dog escapades, the waterworks, and the inherent impossible pool shots at that strange dive steps away, the entire trip was a success. can't blame the interlopers from the disruption of the common sense. but that's ok. today, i returned to my place, and ended up destroying the robots at the el myr,...
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went and saw acid mother's temple. it was nothing short of awesome! although, as previously stated, i passed out halfway through the show. luckily, i remained in an upright position on the couch, and came to during the encore. thomas and scott + girlfriend made an appearence, as i had predicted but not counted on. so, thankfully, i was not alone in this endeavor of...
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man, it sucks having so much free time, especially if the rest of the world is working, and you're not. i can just get up and go to a show in the middle of the week and there are no ramifications. however, it's looking like i'll end up by myself. everyone seems to have school projects or work to attend to.

well, that's not going...
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well, the week that couldn't get worse just did today. specifically, the dream job i really really wanted called today and told me to go fuck myself for three months. do not pass go, do not collect any cookies.

also, since the rail people supposedly started the training soon, this means i didn't get selected to get into their program. not that i would have...
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