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wild_zero

atlanta

Member Since 2004

Followers 22 Following 25

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Wednesday Jul 27, 2005

Jul 27, 2005
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can't stop thinking. it's like breathing. c'mon party people. is that even possible?

in any case, i'm still smiling. i'm BEMUSED, even. i've gotten the sudden impulse to ride around in a rickshaw and drink a margarita, yelling at yuppie bastards.

but she's on my mind. i can't help this. patience, sir. patience. ride it out. think of only the now. the other wouldn't hear of it, and the past is long, long gone into the friendship box. i'm poising myself again, to be bent on this one.

and yet - i'm unconcerned. i'm confident that whatever happens, all signs point to yes, you crazy magic 8 ball.

could it have been i was held hostage for 30 hours this weekend? could it be she said she'd call me sometime next week and called on fucking MONDAY? let me not over analyze. let me stop thinking for once, please party people.

could i say it's the best thing that has happened to me? quite possibly, but then she'd join the ranks of such things which when reality hits the metal, it's true - they are just trite matters.

and yet something in her smile...something unspoken is being said at this very moment. something that just...just feels right for this place and time.

man, if it would only work out. what does that mean, anyway, "work out"? it's "working out" right now. isn't that good enough in and of itself?

but i can't help but dream of the 30 hours i spent trapped in a haze of amazing experience. i can't help but imagine the horizon, the island in the sun, the thought of me reaching out my hand and there is another waiting there to meet it.

or i'm just melodramatizing all over again, just doomed to repeat the same flaw over and over again - like i'm some circus clown who keeps wandering from tent to tent. could it be?

she's on my mind - no doubt about it. i'm having vivid dreams. i'm thinking. i'm trying not to. and yet - the inevitable notion that something outside of me can just happen, suddenly, and without warning. something that just pops right out there, and reminds me of who i could be and what i wish desparately hadn't been killed away by the former.

just a small taste. just a notion. that's all we get, in the end. just the thought and the idea that something is bigger. just the though somewhere, right now, a coincident dream is occuring and somehow, i have the superpower to tune in and join in.

just once more. let me do it over again just once more. it's just another 30 hours out of my life. just change in the time i spend alive and thinking. to stop thinking is left for death. i want to think. i want to feel.

tell me what is happening to me is really real, so i can start thinking again. for the better.
geckogirl:
c'mon party people. i hope this works out.
Jul 27, 2005

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